


Forget Me So We Can Meet Again

by juwoooooo



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Flashbacks, M/M, Magic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Soulmates, juyeon aged up like 2 years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26618461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juwoooooo/pseuds/juwoooooo
Summary: Plagued by nightmares, Eric's world takes a turn as he comes to realize his nightmares might just be a doorway into memories from a world long since forgotten and Juyeon is at the center of it all. Nothing is as it originally seemed and dangers have been laying in the shadows for years. With the truth unraveling, the lines between what is possible and impossible start to blur.Eric's fate has been tied to Juyeon's for longer than he could have imagined.
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Younghoon, Ji Changmin | Q/Kim Sunwoo, Lee Juyeon/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 73
Kudos: 100





	1. Old Wounds

There it was again. The same pounding in his chest. The unmistakable drum of his heart, heavy and deafening inside his ears. Wiping his brow, he tore the covers off himself, fresh air exactly what his body called for. 

Outside, the city played on, oblivious to his own turmoil. The darkness soothed his hot skin, the breeze chilling him, forcing him to wrap his arms around himself, seeking his own body heat suddenly. 

“Nightmares again?” A familiar voice called, startling him, instinctually turning around towards the source. 

Sunwoo stood in the doorway to the balcony. “Uh, yeah, something like that.” 

The other male wrapped his arms around himself too, clearly the chill wasn’t just in Eric’s head. “Do you want to talk about it?” Sunwoo’s voice was soft, coaxing almost. 

_Talking_ about his nightmares just… confused him more. He’d realized that months ago when they started, repeating similar images, but never the same big picture. “Maybe some other time.” Which was more of an automated response at this point, having had similar conversations over the past few months with his roommate. 

Sunwoo opened his mouth as if he were going to say more, but then slowly shut it. For once, he thought maybe his roommate would press further to extract whatever troubled Eric, but he didn’t. Instead, he nodded, offering a tight lipped smile and sinking back into the shadows of their living room. He wasn’t sure what he expected, or if he even had _hoped_ that Sunwoo would try and dig deeper, but they both knew that feelings and expressing those feelings had never been their strong suit. 

Eric sighed, a long and tired sound, turning back to look out over the cityscape. It was always hard to fall back asleep after nights like this, after nightmares that weren’t even really nightmares… _were they?_ It brought up the question of what classified a thing as a nightmares. Was it fear? Or just something unpleasant? Maybe even puzzling? Regardless of the definition, Eric _felt_ as if they were nightmares, dreams that weren’t welcome, regardless of how they made him feel. 

He tried not to blink too heavily as he stared out at the city, not wanting the gaze that haunted his sleeping thoughts to materialize. Perhaps if he kept his eyes open long enough, he could will the memory of those eyes away, hating how they were always what stuck with him most after sleepless nights. Ingrained into his mind, tattooed behind his eyelids… _haunting_ , he thought. Feeling as if he might bring the nightmare into existence, he pushed away all thoughts of those eyes and wandered back into the darkness of his apartment, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

**_night·mare:_ **

**_/ˈnītˌmer/ noun_ **

**_a frightening or unpleasant dream._ **

* * *

His alarm sounded earlier than he remembered setting it, hearing the blaring from his phone as he groaned, attempting to shut it off blindly, but giving up halfway through to do it the _proper_ way. Somehow, he managed to fall back asleep, finding that his mind was free of all nightmares, void of any dreams to recall at all. That was how Eric preferred it. Emptiness was better than the alternative. 

“Are you up yet--” Sunwoo barged in, getting his answer as Eric was simply sitting up in bed. “Oh.” 

“I’m working on it.” Eric answered a question that hadn’t been asked yet. His body (and his brain, if he was being honest with himself) didn’t want to cooperate as he forced himself to roll out of bed and stand on his feet. 

Wordlessly, his friend exited, closing Eric’s door behind him and at least granted him privacy to get dressed. Eric’s closet was pretty lackluster, knowing he was past due for a wardrobe uplift, but his wallet had other things to say about that. Instead, he threw on a pair of jeans and a plain grey t-shirt. Sunwoo didn’t say anything about his choice in attire, but he knew his friend likely had something to say. 

Throwing on a hoodie before they left, the pair walked in silence towards the bus stop. Things had been… strange between them since all of this started. He didn’t want to think about what had happened prior to the start of his nightmares and how their onset had been the beginning of Eric pulling away, receding back into himself in every regard of his life, including when it came to his best friend. 

He missed the way things used to be, but felt incapable of changing it back, like his mind was always somewhere else. Unable to shake his daze of nightmares, constantly walking through them, Eric had severed what they had and now it felt unfixable. 

“Pull it together for today, okay? Byungha is already looking for a reason to fire any of us.” Sunwoo warned him with a knock of the elbow before they were walking into the back of GOAT Pizza, the pizzeria they both worked at. 

At the back door, he scuffed off his shoes before pulling on his apron and washed his hands at the sink. Sunwoo got the _good_ part of the job, in Eric’s opinion, not actually having to deal with customers and put on a smile. He just had to take the pizzas from point A to point B. Easy. Eric on the other hand suffered through customers with attitudes, customers with bad breath, customers that were just too happy, and just about everything else in between. 

Sunwoo patted his shoulder encouragingly before he put on his uniform cap and was already heading off on one of the store’s bikes to deliver the pizza. “Don’t have too much fun without me.” Were his parting words and Eric simply rolled his eyes, begrudgingly walking over to their manager and trying to push his nightmares as far from his level of consciousness as possible. 

His shift drug on, with moments where he felt like he could come up for air whenever Sunwoo was back from a delivery and he had someone to chat with besides Byungha (though, he wouldn’t consider what he did with Byungha _chatting_ ). Clocking out for the night was the only thing he looked forward to, so when 8PM hit, he was quick to hang his apron backup and leave. 

“You survived. A miracle.” Sunwoo bumped into him as they walked the lit streets of Seoul, everyone still hustling and bustling. Eric couldn’t actually recall a time where things were _dead_. It always felt alive and he welcomed the distraction. 

“Barely.” Eric replied, scoffing under his breath, “There were a few close calls, but we’ll see how tomorrow goes.” 

“ _And_ you’ll be on your own tomorrow, so the chances of your survival drop even more.”

Eric turned his head to look at his friend, shoving his hands into the confines of his hoodie’s pocket, “You’re off tomorrow? We always work the same days.” 

Sunwoo shrugged nonchalantly, obviously not thinking it was as big of a deal as Eric did, though… if he were being honest with himself, he had entered into this strange limbo of depending too heavily on his friend while also pushing him away. “My cousin’s in town-- I thought I told you? Well, he’s in town for business, so I promised to go to lunch with him. Or rather, my _mother_ promised I would go with him.”

It shouldn’t have bothered him so much that Sunwoo hadn’t told him nor that his friend wouldn’t be working with him, but it did. It was just another prime example of his polarizing codependency and distancing. “Oh, okay, cool.” His hands receded further into his pockets, insecurity slithering up his spine like a snake. 

“Maybe you can ask Byungha for the day off, come with me to--” His friend’s words were abruptly cut short by the screeching of tires, the loud, unmistakable colliding of metal, breaking glass. Eric had never _heard_ (nor seen) a car crash before, but it was drastically louder than he imagined, making him cover his ears, flinching away from the source. Both of the males opened their eyes, to see the smoke and wreckage up ahead, just a few feet away from them. There were people ahead of them screaming, someone (much braver than Eric) rushed towards the cars, clearly trying to pull someone out. 

Eric’s chest tightened, his palms sweating as he watched, as his eyes caught on all the smoke, the fire that was starting from it. It felt like he almost couldn’t breathe, like he was in one of those nightmares suddenly, his throat closing up. In his head, it was as if somehow his plaguing dreams had crossed over into his reality and he froze. 

* * *

**_flash·back:_ **

**_/ˈflaSHˌbak/ noun_ **

**_a sudden and disturbing vivid memory of an event in the past, typically as the result of psychological trauma or taking LSD_ **

* * *

_“_ _Come play with me, please!” A young boy’s voice rang out, cheerful and giddy, the light of hope chimed through the sound of it, talking to someone whose face was distorted, like a memory washed through time._

 _“Leave him be, Youngjae.” The female’s voice seemed tired, but as the small boy looked over at her, she smiled, shaking her head lightly as she chastised him. Her face was clear, solid, as if maybe he could reach out and touch it-- tangible. But he couldn’t, he felt fixed in place, like he was only here in this moment to observe. She felt…_ real _, like someone he had looked upon a million times, but now… it was impossible to put any memories to the face._

_“I don’t mind.” The distorted presence responded, his voice even seemed faded, muffled. Everything about this moment felt familiar to Eric and yet… he couldn’t recall any of it. The mysterious boy approached the little boy, Eric able to recognize the smaller one as himself, seeing his reflection in him, but much, much younger. Maybe five years old? Six perhaps? He could never recall vivid memories of his early childhood, but this seemed unmistakably his somehow, like he’d walked into a memory of his past that was locked away from him. “So what are we playing today?” The distorted boy seemed older than him, but it was impossible to place his age considering how fragmented his appearance was._

_Young Eric tapped his chin, seeming to contemplate what they would do. “How about hide and seek?”_

_That seemed to suffice and soon after, Eric’s omnipresence drifted where his younger self went, following him into a hiding spot inside of the grand house. Everything about it felt real, felt like pieces of his history long forgotten, but as he looked at it, it also felt like the first time too, wanting to stay and get a better look at things, but he was tethered to the little boy._

_He hid upstairs inside one of the closets, he thought it must belong to a woman, the clothes all smelled nice, all beautiful shades of colors and most of them were dresses. Younger Eric pushed back into the dresses, hiding himself behind them, liking how the material felt on his skin. He giggled to himself, covering his mouth as he let the sound escape, seeming to be quite pleased with himself and his choice of hiding place._

_There was a sudden shake of the entire house, a startling noise that had the boy gripping the dresses tightly to keep his balance. Eric wanted to leave his younger self so he could go see what it was, what caused the noise and the shaking, but he could smell the smoke, hear what sounded like fighting, loud and inhumane noises coming from beyond the walls where his younger self stayed hidden, shaking._

_“Youngjae!” A woman screamed his name, loud but muffled from the walls that kept them apart._

_“Mother!” He yelled back, but didn’t move. Eric wanted the boy to do so, to run, to go to the woman he had called mother. In the back of his mind, he thought this was all just part of a nightmare, that it was just more linear now, as if he were finally seeing the bigger picture._

_The sounds of crashing and banging continued, snarls and growls that sounded animalistic in nature, like dogs or bears fighting. Not that he had actually ever_ heard _bears fight, but that was the closest comparison he could think of, what he would imagine they sounded like. The smell of smoke got stronger, he could hear how his younger self was starting to cry, looking over at him, how he gripped even tighter to the clothes. Eric wanted to scream at him to move, to go, especially as smoke began to seep in from under the closed closet door, tendrils of grey curling in the air and suffocating it._

_“Youngjae! Where are you?” It was a different voice this time, “You need to come out now!” Vaguely, he recognized it as the distorbed boy’s from earlier voice, but his younger self seemed to respond to it instantly. Just his words were enough to coax the frightened boy from his hiding spot, he coughed through the smoke, rushing to the door and flinging it open. A cloud of the thick, grey smoke greeted him, hiding him in a seemingly impenetrable fog._

_The young boy coughed harshly, “Juyeon! I’m right here!” He barely croaked out through his coughly, trying to move through the heavy clouds of smoke._

_A figure materialized in front of him, barely able to be seen through the smoke, but it was clear enough that as he crouched down to Youngjae’s eye level, Eric could see his gaze through the smoke, could see the piercing and distinct charcoal eyes that continued to haunt his dreams. The male picked him up in his arms, holding him as Youngjae squeezed tightly onto his neck. “I’ve got you.”_

* * *

**_trau·ma:_ **

**_/ˈtroumə,ˈtrômə/ noun_ **

**_emotional shock following a stressful event or a physical injury, which may be associated with physical shock and sometimes leads to long-term neurosis._ **

* * *

“Eric, Eric!” He could feel his body being shaken, his hearing coming back to him first, unable to open his eyes. His head throbbed, but finally he blinked, the world around him materializing, but the edges still looked tinged in black, like he couldn’t focus on the whole picture yet.

“W...what happened?” He asked slowly, seeing his friend hovering over him, his eyes wide. There was the distinct smell of smoke lingering in his nostrils and as he really focused on everything around him, several people were behind Sunwoo, staring down at him. Hesitantly, he sat up, reaching up to touch his head, to feel the swelling goose egg there. 

“I think I should be asking _you_ what happened. You just passed out-- out of nowhere, might I add.” The people around him whispered, but he looked past them, over at the car trash and the ambulance and fire department that had shown up. 

One of the medics was rushing over to them, “Is everything okay here? Are you hurt?” The man asked Eric, looking at him, but with a wince, he shook his head, not wanting to take what medical attention the people in the crash needed. 

“No, I’m fine, just… got startled, I guess.” He wasn’t sure if that was the truth, though. The memory or dream or whatever it was still lingered with him. The name _Juyeon_ rang over and over like a bell inside his head, almost like something inside of him was calling for it, reaching out. It was all confusing and whatever questions he had about his nightmares only magnified now. This… _episode_ had been both illuminating and confusing. For the first time, he wanted to _go back_ , to be reemerced in his dreams, to get answers to questions he didn’t know he had before then. It made him question the validity of his definition of his dreams… were they dreams? Or some sort of distance memories? 

“Eric, get up.” Sunwoo said suddenly, his gaze not on Eric anymore, but the wreckage. “We… we need to go, _now_.” He’d never heard his friend panic before, but that’s what this sounded like, feeling the sudden jerk of being pulled up to his feet. 

The world spins as he gets his footing, holding onto Sunwoo’s shoulder for support. “Go? Go where? Why?” 

“Just-- you trust me, don’t you?” Sunwoo’s eyes were wild with intensity as he looked at him, his pupils blown, eyebrows pulled together. There was a sound of creaking metal from the twisted up mess of the collision, people gasped as the heep of metal began to move.

“Of- of course, I do.” He answered, still trying to make the world come to a stand still and somewhat succeeding. Before he could fully get a grip on himself, Sunwoo’s hand wraps tightly around his wrist, pulling him in a jerking motion in the opposite way of the car crash-- and also the opposite way of their apartment. He could hear screaming then from the bystanders

“Sunwoo, slow down!” He yelled after a block of running, bumping into people as they did who in turn cursed at them. His friend didn’t heed his words, ignoring him it seemed. As they turned onto another block, this one less crowded, he wrenched his hand from Sunwoo’s grip. “What is going on?” He demanded, rubbing his wrist as he looked up at his friend. “I’m not going anywhere else until you tell me what the hell is going on.” 

Sunwoo sighed, his eyes darting behind Eric like he was expecting to see someone (or something) chasing them, but as Eric looked back, there was nothing except for normal people going about their normal lives. “It’s hard to explain.” 

“Well, try.” 

A hand ran through Sunwoo’s dyed red hair, the action parting his bangs and showing off his forehead and thick brows. “It’s not my place to explain, okay?” 

“Then whose is it?” Eric wasn’t usually so demanding, but his throbbing head made him irritable and after having so many unanswered questions via his dreams (or whatever he was calling them now), he wanted answers from his _best friend_. 

“Just-- things aren’t how you think they are. Can we go now, please?” That answer didn’t actually make any sense to him, bringing up a pile of more questions. This night was proving to be full of them and his head was still pounding, but with each hard ache, it was like his mind was pulsing with one word, _Juyeon_. A repeated echo that he couldn’t shake, feeling whatever was happening, that person was at the root of it. 

Eric paused, feeling tired from all of this, “Sure.” His voice was a little agitated, not wanting to agree, but also not wanting to argue. 

Sunwoo sighed in relief it seemed, reaching to grab Eric’s wrist again, but Eric pulled it out of his reach, not wanting to be subjected to being dragged around again. And instead, they walked (at too quick of a pace for Eric’s liking), continuing on in silence and Eric sort of welcomed it, allowing him to reflect on all he had witnessed in his memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this was your cup of tea, give me your input. I love to hear what your thoughts are on everything!!!


	2. Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I was very motivated to continue the story.
> 
> If you want to get in the vibe, this is my playlist for Juyeon and Eric in this story! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3btYdzKhS1djAMB4Cdn8Kq?si=smC-A4EAQHGHcxIiDBoBLg

“Where are we going?” Eric felt like a child in the back seat of a long road trip, but they had been walking for-- _a glance down at his watch--_ thirty minutes. “Our apartment is on the other side of the city, you know?” 

Sunwoo looked sideways at him, shrugging, “I have a friend. We can’t go back to the apartment.” Was all he said. Eric never knew his friend to be cryptic, but the last hour or so had been wildly uncharacteristic of his friend. Part of him wondered if he was still in his dream, on the sidewalk, passed out. That might be a better alternative to what was happening to him. 

His nose scrunched up, eyebrows furrowing as he contemplated all of the friends they had. They had hung out in the same circles for the past five years he’s lived in Seoul. “What friend?” The friends they did have didn’t live in this part of the city, knowing it to be seedier than where their friends (and they) lived. 

“You don’t know them.” 

Frustration built up as his small fists balled, hating how curt Sunwoo was being, like he didn’t deserve an explanation for anything that was happening. Part of him wanted to argue, to demand some semblance of an answer for _anything_ , but he wasn’t sure he had the energy to truly assert himself.

Instead, he continued to truck by Sunwoo’s side, scuffing his feet on the pavement as they walked. The silence was usually his own doing, not minding it, but for the first time in _months_ , Eric actually wanted to talk and it was Sunwoo who was freezing him out. 

The district they entered was unfamiliar to Eric, staying closer to Sunwoo as people eyed them suspiciously as they passed. Somehow, Sunwoo seemed to know exactly where they were going, navigating through the narrow streets with ease until they reached a dead end with a single door to someone’s home it seemed. The outside was adorned with a copious amount of plants and littered with wind chimes. In the night breeze, it almost seemed like they were playing a melodic tune, all in harmony. 

“Are you going to tell me where we are _now_ or do you just expect me to go in there?” Eric questioned, grabbing Sunwoo’s bicep to stop him from approaching the door further. 

Sunwoo faced him, Eric had never seen him look so _fed up_ with him, but the unamusement was evident in his features. “Can’t you just trust me that I know what I’m doing?” 

“Under normal circumstances, sure, but _all of this_ is nothing like you, so I’m sorry I’m having a hard time just _trusting_ you right now.” Eric crossed his arms over his chest, feeling stubborn, trying not to think about how he reminded himself of a petulant child. 

Sunwoo sighed, his fingers pushing back his bangs, “What happened back there-- the car accident. I…” He paused, obviously trying to find his words. “Just-- it wasn’t an accident. I didn’t know that at first, but something else is going on right now and I don’t have time to explain.” Eric opened his mouth, a protest on his tongue, but Sunwoo cut him off. “Eventually it will make sense.” 

Those were far from comforting words and his head spun with inquiries about the car accident. If it wasn’t an accident then was someone trying to hit the other car? And if that was the case what did that have to do with them? Something told him he wouldn’t get answers if he asked, so he didn’t and instead released Sunwoo’s arm. 

Sunwoo didn’t even knock on the door, opening it with such familiarity, it puzzled Eric. Hesitantly, Eric entered the home, following Sunwoo’s suit and taking his shoes off at the door. His eyes snagged on everything in the dimly lit house. It smelled of jasmine, incense and a hint of mint. The plants that were outside of the home extended inside, vines crawling up the walls and various old textbooks were stacked around what he assumed was supposed to be a living room (considering there was a couch). It was different from any home he’d seen before, messy, but in a way that seemed as if the occupant of the space knew _exactly_ where everything was. As he continued to look around in awe, taking it all in, Sunwoo continued inside the home. Eric’s eyes darted between the jars of various… spices maybe and different crystals and rocks that were on shelves and the desk in the room. 

“Sunwoo!” Came a small, soft voice in excitement. Eric turned his head to see a pink haired male with his arms outstretched to wrap around Sunwoo, but Sunwoo raised a hand to stop the embrace (at least _something_ was still uncannily in Sunwoo’s character). The pink haired boy was dressed in a silky, white kimono robe and by the look of it, that was _all_ he was wearing. It made a brush heat up Eric’s cheeks and he looked away, not wanting to see _everything_ the stranger had to offer. 

“I’m not here for a personal call, Chanhee.” Sunwoo told the stranger now identified as Chanhee. 

Playfully, Chanhee swatted at Sunwoo’s chest, “Why so serious, huh? It’s not like-- _oh.”_ Chanhee squeaked as he seemed to realize that Eric was there. Eric assumed he was just embarrassed to be caught clearly _flirting_ with Sunwoo in front of company, but then his expression turned dark, angry almost and this time he hit Sunwoo’s chest with a little more force behind it. “You brought him _hereI!”_ He exclaimed in a hushed voice. “What are you thinking?”

“We didn’t have anywhere to go-- they’re here now. They found us.” Sunwoo’s voice was also hushed and it felt like some conversation between his parents he wasn’t supposed to hear, but Eric wasn’t a child and he wouldn’t be made to feel like one either. 

“Care to fill me in on who _they_ are?” Stepping forward, averting his eyes from looking down Chanhee’s form, able to see that the robe he wore was very loosely (and poorly) tied closed.

Chanhee regarded him, looking him up and down, “You’ve certainly grown up, Youngjae, haven’t you?”

“Chanhee--” Sunwoo warned, giving the pink haired boy a stern look. 

“What’s he talking about?” Eric looked to Sunwoo, expecting an answer, but also knowing he wouldn’t get any at this rate. 

“Is he here?” Sunwoo ignored his question, just looking at Chanhee. 

The pink haired boy blinked, balking slightly at him. “Really? You think he’d be _here_?” 

“Well, if they’re here, then that means so is he.”

Eric wanted to know who _he_ was, but something echoed in his head again, like a chant: _Juyeon, Juyeon, Juyeon._ He tried to shake it, not wanting to let his dreams bleed over into reality, but something told him it was a little too late for that. 

“Yeah, but he’s not _here_ . I hate to break it to you, but I would not be his first stop.” Chanhee nodded towards him, but didn’t actually look at Eric, almost like he was some sort of inanimate object. “ _He_ would be his first stop.” 

Fed up with these two acting like he wasn’t here (and especially fed up with Sunwoo's new found behavior towards him), he couldn’t help how he spoke up, “Can you just tell me what is going on?” Voice raised, inserting himself into the conversation that made very little sense to him. 

Both Sunwoo and Chanhee looked at him with wide eyes, surprised by his outburst and it only made him feel more childish. Could he ever win? “So you’re telling me he still doesn’t know anything?” Chanhee’s voice was soft and a little surprised, but he was still looking only at Sunwoo. 

“That’s why we came here-- for you to do your _thing_ .” He waved his hands vaguely in the air motioning towards Chanhee. Eric didn’t know what Chanhee’s _thing_ was, but was pretty sure he didn’t want any part of it. While he trusted Sunwoo, that trust was temporarily wavering, unsure what to believe right now, feeling like he was discovering some weird, secret part of his best friend. 

“He’ll _kill me_ if he finds out I messed with him. I’m not the… _one_ who did it to him, so how am I supposed to know how to undo it properly?” Chanhee was _now_ finally pulling his robe closed fully as he crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes darting between Sunwoo and Eric a little nervously. “If I mess this up…” He trailed off, not finishing the sentence, but his round eyes looked up at Sunwoo knowingly and Eric wanted in on yet another secret he realized. 

“Then don’t mess it up and if he finds out, let me deal with him, alright? We did what we had to. He wasn’t here, so this was the only alternative.” 

Chanhee paused, pouting, appearing to be put in between a rock and hard place. “ _Fine_ , I’ll do it.” 

With some coaxing, somehow Eric ended up agreeing to this ridiculous notion that Chanhee could help him remember things that he had suppressed. Something about that explanation felt like bullshit, as if they were both skirting around some bigger truth. He had asked further questions, none of which got direct answers. 

“I’m… supposed to get in that..?” Eric questioned hesitantly, looking at the black water before him. 

The three of them were in the small courtyard behind Chanhee’s house. It was concealed with thick, beautiful trees, ones that felt familiar, but he couldn’t place where he had seen them before. They reminded him of willow trees, but their color was like nothing he had seen before, white with undertones of silver and grey it seemed as the moon hit the leaves. In the center of the courtyard was a pond, but as he leaned over, he couldn’t see the bottom, feeling like the black water went on endlessly. 

“Don’t be scared now, you wanted answers, right?” Sunwoo spoke up, Eric turned his neck back to look at his friend. Even if things were confusing right now, he still trusted Sunwoo, didn’t he? 

“Yeah, but I don’t want to _die_ to get them.” He spoke dramatically, looking again down at the black, seemingly endless water. 

Chanhee laughed slightly, covering his mouth with his hand as he did. “It won’t kill you.” He assured him, but the boy’s voice was… less than confident, but Eric was coming to realize that that just might be Chanhee’s natural timber. Eric braced himself as he was about to step into the water, but Chanhee spoke up again, “You’re not going in with your clothes, are you?” 

Eric looked down at his fully clothed attire, frowning. “I… I…” He felt a little shy at the prospect of going in completely naked. Even if Sunwoo was his best friend, it didn’t mean he wanted him to see him in all of his glory. “I guess not…” But he made a wordless vow to keep his underwear on at least as he stripped himself of his hoodie and t-shirt, hesitating a little when he got to his pants, but resolved himself to kick his legs free of the fabric. 

One tentative toe tested the water first, finding it fridging and a shiver wracked through his body before he dipped the foot in further, expecting to meet solid ground, but he didn’t. It continued on as he free, resorting to just fully immersing his body in the cold water. Even as he was in it, it was charcoal black, unable to see his body as he looked down, into the abyss. 

“What now?” He asked, but as he looked up from where he waded, Chanhee and Sunwoo were gone, the courtyard empty. Frantically, he spun around in the water, “Sunwoo! This isn’t funny!” He warned, feeling his heart start to race, the cold water causing him to shiver, his teeth chattering. “Where are you?” He called, hearing his voice echo. The strange white trees started to chim like the wind chimes outside of Chanhee’s home, or at least that’s what it seemed like. They played the same melody as they did, the wind picking up and blowing the wispy tendrils of leaves harder. 

Just as he was swimming to get to the edge, wanting out of the water, something grabbed his ankle, pulling him down into the dark depths, unable to fight it as everything went black.

* * *

**_ev·o·ca·tion:_ **

**_/ˌēvōˈkāSH(ə)n,evōˈkāSH(ə)n/ noun_ **

**_the act of bringing or recalling a feeling, memory, or image to the conscious mind._ **

* * *

_“I- I don’t want to go.” Youngjae sniffled, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand hastily. Not wanting Juyeon to see him cry, especially not like_ this _. He was fourteen now and that meant tears and crying were past him, or at least that’s what he thought._

_Juyeon had always been taller than him, but since he was nineteen now, he felt like a giant. The older boy turned his chin upwards to look at him. “I don’t have another choice.”_

_“Sure you do, I can stay. I can help. I’m old enough now-- older than you were when all of this started. Juyeon, please.” Youngjae begged, feeling how more tears betrayed him, rolling down his cheeks. “I can’t lose you too…”_

_Juyeon looked away from him, Youngjae thinking maybe he was blinking back tears of his own, but he had never actually seen the older cry. “I can’t risk losing you either.” Slowly, Juyeon looked back down at him, holding out his palm and Youngjae pressed his own flat palm up against his. He could feel the connection there, the bond they had since they were little. His mother would say it was in the stars, that all the worlds were tethered, all under the same stars and some people were special enough to be written up in the skies. He and Juyeon were some of those people._

_“Then let me stay. Aren’t we safer together?” He felt like he was begging now, grasping at straws, their palms still pressed together._

_“Not anymore.” Juyeon spoke bluntly, the words hurting, making Youngjae’s lower lip quiver as he looked up at him, again trying to wipe away his tears, embarrassed by them. Wasn’t he supposed to be past this by now? “I need you to do this for me.”_

_“B-but I heard others say that if we leave we may never see any of you again. How can I risk that?” All Youngjae had now was Juyeon, couldn’t he see that? If he lost him too… who would he have?_

_Juyeon didn’t answer him right away, but gave him a sad sort of smile before he leaned down to press his lips against his forehead. “I’ll find you again. I promise.”_

_A broken sob escaped his mouth, unable to keep it in then. All of his attempts to stop Juyeon from sending him to this new place were cast away, nothing he said would change his mind. The older brushed his hand over Youngjae’s hair, squeezing the back of his neck and then pulling away._

_“Juyeon, it’s time.” Youngjae knew the voice well, turning and wiping his puffy eyes to see Younghoon and Sunwoo, Juyeon’s most trusted men under him. Even if they didn’t come from their bloodlines, Youngjae knew they could be trusted, that if Juyeon trusted them, so did Youngjae._

_Youngjae looked back up at Juyeon, shaking his head, “Please don’t make me. I promise I’ll be good. I’ll stay safe, I’ll--”_

_But Juyeon placed a finger over Youngjae’s lips, stopping him from continuing. “Enough, Youngjae.” His voice was both soft, but firm, making it final, leaving no room for further argument. A defeated sob broke from his lips then, letting himself collapse forward to wrap his arms tightly around Juyeon, hugging him close, feeling like it would be the last time. He felt Juyeon’s arms wrap around him as well, how he held him close for a moment, balling his fists in the fabric of his shirt._

_“Juyeon--” Younghoon warned, hearing the anxiety in his voice. “We don’t have much time.”_

_Juyeon had to pry Youngjae off of him, to separate them, “I need you to be strong, okay? Things will be… different, but it’s safe there for you. The Skens won’t be there.” Youngjae nodded, trying to be brave, continuing to wipe his eyes. “Sunwoo will go with you, he’ll keep you safe.”_

_Youngjae’s head snapped up to look at Juyeon, “But he’s your--”_

_“He’s the only one I trust with you. I’ll be fine without him.” Juyeon assured him, but Youngjae didn’t feel so confident in that, knowing how much Juyeon depended on Sunwoo. “Besides, I’ll have Younghoon.” Youngjae didn’t want to seem biased, but Younghoon wasn’t Sunwoo, knowing there was a big difference in what the two could do for Juyeon._

_“But what about Changmin?” Youngjae turned to look at Sunwoo, his eyebrows pulling down with concern._

_“We all have to make sacrifices, Prince.” Sunwoo told him formally, Youngjae never liked to be addressed by his title, especially considering everything that had happened and was still happening._

_Youngjae bowed his head, feeling guilty that Sunwoo would be leaving someone for him, but he was definitely handling it better than Youngjae. He was sure he was only poised now, knowing him to have a temper and this composure Sunwoo displayed was likely the result of an outburst somewhere else that Youngjae hadn’t seen. “So it’s just us then? We’re the only ones going?”_

_Juyeon shook his head, looking behind him at Sunwoo and Younghoon, “No, Chanhee is going as well. If anything happens, you and Sunwoo can rely on his help.” Right on cue, the pink haired boy approached, the least amount of skin showing in his outfit that Youngjae had ever seen._

_Selfishly, Youngjae looked back at Juyeon, “All of them are coming, but… couldn’t you just come with me? You can keep me safe.”_

_Juyeon sighed, his shoulders falling, a bit defeated and Youngjae felt bad for pushing that on him. “You know I can’t do that.”_

_“Won’t they just find me, though like they have been?”_

_The older male looked over at Younghoon, “We… have a solution for that.”_

_“What?” Youngjae turned to look at Younghoon as well, but Younghoon couldn’t hold his eye contact, instead looking up at Juyeon. It made Youngjae look back up at Juyeon as well, curious, but also a sinking feeling weighing on his stomach as no one would answer him. “What is it?” His voice a little more frantic, cracking slightly and he cleared his throat, “Juyeon, what-- what’s the solution.”_

_Lightly, he stroked Youngjae’s face to try and calm him down, “They can’t find you if we suppress your bloodline.” That didn’t seem_ too _bad to Youngjae, confused why everyone was being so strange about it. “But… but to do that means to suppress_ you _, everything that makes you,_ you. _” Now it was starting to take a turn he didn’t like and he swallowed, nodding slowly that he understood so far. “Your memories-- of home, of your family, of me, they’re going to go away--”_

 _“No!” Youngjae declared, squirming out of Juyeon’s grip. “You-- you can’t make me leave_ and _take everything I love from me! I won’t let you!” He could see that his outburst hurt Juyeon, that it wasn’t how he wanted it to go, but it all felt so_ unfair _, that he would lose everyone all over again. He was already the last of his family, Juyeon was his only thing left and he couldn’t lose that too. “Please,_ please _, Juyeon, don’t do it. There’s got to be another way.”_ _Desperately, he looked over at the other three in the room, Younghoon, Sunwoo, Chanhee, wanting them to provide an alternative, but no one spoke, all not meeting his gaze._

_Youngjae clenched his jaw, “I won’t do it! You can’t make me.”_

_Juyeon approached, his hand out to try and soothe him or control him, he wasn’t sure which. “Youngjae, it’s the only way. It’s not forever--”_

_“You don’t know that! Magic is unpredictable, you say that all the time, so don’t try and comfort me with false hope.” Youngjae used Juyeon’s words against him. “I can’t lose all I have left, please don’t take that from me.” Again, tears started to stream down his face, trying to blink them away, but it only made it worse._

_“Juyeon, we need to do this_ now _.” Younghoon warned, seeming to sense the Skens approaching on their location, but Youngjae didn’t want to relent, didn’t want to have the only good memories he had taken away from him._

_Youngjae blinked up at Juyeon with tear filled eyes, “Please, Juyeon…” His voice was softer now, a last desperate plea, but Juyeon shook his head and Youngjae was certain he saw tears of Juyeon’s own welling in his eyes._

_Juyeon reached out to grab him, but Youngjae fought it, trying to wrench his arm away, not wanting to do what they were saying. “Please, no, please!” He yelled as Juyeon wrestled with him slightly to get control of him, holding him against his chest as Youngjae tried, eventually his body stilling as Younghoon was chanting incantations, using magical properties to do exactly what Juyeon had said he would._ Take _everything from him. His body shook with sobs as he collapsed against Juyeon, wishing he could at least hold onto this. The feeling of Juyeon’s arms wrapped around him, the security of their bond, their connection that he had known since he could first remember._

 _All of his memories, all of his smiles, all of his heartache, all of his suffering, all of his laughs,_ everything _danced before his eyes in a slow blink, like he was getting one last glimpse of everything that was_ Youngjae _. And then_ nothing.


	3. Missing You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is heavy with world building, but it's important to the story, I promise!

“Again?” Changmin’s voice asked softly, looking at Juyeon as he pinched the bridge of his nose, grimacing from the familiar pain. 

Juyeon shook his head, putting his hand down, “It’s fine.” Even if he knew that it wasn’t fine. Over the past few months, he could feel a pulling, like something was internally calling out to him. Juyeon knew what it was, what it _really_ was, that it was Youngjae, that somehow he was calling out to him and their bond tethered them together and somehow it transcended dimensions, parallel worlds. “We have bigger things to worry about.” 

Changmin was not at all the companion he wished he had by his side, but he longed for the familiar he had entrusted with keeping Youngjae safe. Sunwoo had been at his side since he was a child, bonded in a different way than he was with Youngjae, but nearly as important. 

“Is there something I can do?” Changmin asked, tilting his head to the side to look at Juyeon curiously. 

He shook his head, not wanting to think about what it meant if Youngjae was reaching out to him, calling to him almost, it felt like. “You can tell me how we’re fairing.” 

Changmin’s face fell and he tapped away at the runic tablet, producing a holographic from it and the map of Taurwen materialized. What had once been a lush world full of traditions and history was now a mountain of ruin. Juyeon frowned as he looked at it-- as he always did when faced with the harsh reality that they were losing this seemingly endless war. “They’re still looking for him in this region.” Changmin circled with his finger a part of the globe.

“Good.” His worries about the spell Younghoon had put under him somehow fading were quelled for the time being, but it didn’t answer his question of _how_ Youngjae was reaching out to him so strongly. “How are our numbers?”

Changmin shut off the tablet, the globe disappearing. “We lost two battalions last week and if we keep this up, we’ll truly be down to bare bones. Maybe it’s time we think about--”

“No.” Juyeon interjected quickly, knowing what he was going to suggest. “If we abandon Taurwen, they’ll follow.” His only choice was to continue to fight, to defend their home and win. Failure wasn’t an option, even if it loomed over all of their heads. 

“Then maybe we should go to another world… _not_ Youngjae’s.” His head snapped up to look at Changmin, furrowing his brow, seeing how the other male gave him a nervous sort of smile. “If we want to keep him safe, leading them to another world would do that.” 

Juyeon sighed, not liking that option, but knowing the clock was ticking. “We still have time to decide.” Again, he was reminded of how alone he felt these days. Younghoon had been missing for two years, presumed dead, and Sunwoo was with Youngjae. Even if that was where he needed to be, not having his familiar to help guide him, knowing that was the point of bonding with one, to have their guidance through all things. Juyeon had been honest when he said that he wouldn’t trust anyone else with Youngjae’s safety, even if it meant leaving him vulnerable. 

“Juyeon,” Came the voice of one of his council members, he turned to look her way. “Sangyeon is here.” Juyeon nodded, indicating to let the only other living ruler of Taurwen remaining. He had come to discuss strategy, but Juyeon’s head was elsewhere, thinking about his headaches. They were an indication that possibly subconsciously Youngjae was reaching out for him, making him worry that he was in some sort of trouble. He trusted Sunwoo to take care of it, but what if it was more than he could handle? Juyeon did his best to remain attentive in his meeting, but the nagging feeling continued. 

It hit him suddenly then, the sharpest pain he’d felt, making him verbally cry out in distress and he doubled over in his chair, holding his head. It was impossibly loud inside of his head, like he was hearing someone scream his name repeatedly. _Juyeon, Juyeon, Juyeon._ It felt franic, like a demand, like he _needed_ him. Those that were in the room rushed to him, trying to understand what was happening, but not even he knew what was going on. 

They spoke to him, but he couldn’t actually hear them, their voices all muffled and the only thing he could hear was a high pitched scream it seemed like with booms of his own name being called out. Something was wrong, he could _feel_ it. The spell was wearing thin or-- he didn’t know exactly what, but he grimaced through the pain, looking up at Changmin who was staring at him with concern like everyone else. 

“Look at the scanners.” He instructed, feeling like whatever was happening with Youngjae was likely tearing a hole in what Younghoon had done five years prior. Juyeon wasn’t sure how it was possible, but it wasn’t as if he could very well ask the caster of the spell. 

Changmin rushed to the tablet, inputting the proper ruins and the scanners were going ballistic, everyone staring in awe as the purple dots indicating portals being opened through the layers between worlds were being opened. Changmin’s mouth dropped open, the male looking to Juyeon ( _everyone_ looking to him) for guidance. 

“They found him.” 

* * *

**_dis·cov·er·y:_ **

**_/dəˈskəv(ə)rē/ noun_ **

**_the action or process of discovering or being discovered._ **

* * *

Eric gasped, coming up for air, his lungs aching as he splashed in the black water, coughing. His entire body was freezing, his lips blue as he surfaced, looking around the courtyard as Sunwoo and Chanhee were exactly where he had left them before. “What the fuck was that?” He demanded, quickly swimming (and splashing) to the edge, needing to pull himself out and away from whatever had happened down in there. This time, the memory had felt even more vivid than before. He hadn’t been a spectator, but it had been _him_ … almost. It hadn’t _felt_ like him, but more a memory he was watching through someone else’s eyes. 

Chanhee had a towel, wrapping it around his shivering form. “What did you see? Is it all back?” 

“What? No, is what back?” He could still feel the connection he had clearly had in that memory with Juyeon, feel like it was _inside_ of him, but had no real grasp on what it actually was. “I just… I saw him-- Juyeon-- but it doesn’t make any sense. Not completely.” He wasn't entirely sure what had happened under that black water, but his head felt scrambled. Everything inside of him felt like it was in limbo, flirting with reality and fantasy. 

“Let’s go inside, I have the perfect tea to warm you up.” Chanhee offered, helping Eric to his feet and wrapping an arm around his shivering form. 

While the tea warmed up, Eric dried off as best he could, his hair still wet and cold, but he was in his clothes again and wrapped up in one of Chanhee’s woven blankets. Chanhee handed him a warm mug of tea, his hands cupping it delicately, wanting to absorb it’s warmth. 

“So tell us what you saw.” Chanhee asked, interested as he daintily crossed his legs and brought his own mug up to his lips with both hands. Eric couldn’t help thinking how tiny he looked like that (though he wasn’t one to talk). 

He furrowed his brow, recalling the odd events he had watched unfold. “I… I was younger-- fourteen, I think-- and,” He looked between Sunwoo and Chanhee, “Both of you were there, but neither of you looked different at all, like you were the same age?” It felt like he was telling some odd dream he had to friends, but this had been _more_ than a dream, he realized. Chanhee nodded eagerly, encouraging him to continue. “But… Juyeon… he was the most important one there-- who I remember the most. He feels like…” He paused, contemplating it, “Like a dream, but one I’ve walked through a million times, so real I feel like I can touch him and find every inch of his skin is familiar.” Eric blushed, feeling like he might have gotten too deep in thought and he cleared his throat, changing the topic. “I was leaving somewhere-- to come here, I think-- and another man, he took everything from me.” A shiver ran down his spine as he remembered the pain of that part, how desperate he’d been to hold onto his memories, but clearly that hadn’t happened...assuming any of this was even factual. 

Sunwoo and Chanhee were silent for a long moment, as if they expected him to continue, but he just gave them an awkward little shrug before he sipped on his tea. “And that’s it?” Sunwoo spoke up this time. 

“I mean, mostly, yeah… I feel… _different_ and everything seems like it’s on the tip of my tongue, but just out of reach.” Eric tried to explain, but he knew he likely didn’t do a very good job of it. 

Sunwoo groaned, collapsing back into his seat, “So it didn’t work.” 

Chanhee glared at him slightly, “I told you I didn’t know if I could do it! You should be grateful nothing bad happened and it just didn’t work _completely_ . Younghoon cast it, so he’s the one who can _actually_ undo it.” What they said _sort of_ made sense to him and seemed to solidify that maybe what he’d seen wasn’t as crazy as it was. 

“Younghoon was your _master_ , so shouldn’t you know how to undo what he did?”

Chanhee huffed, “Magic isn’t a science-- no one’s practice is a replica of anyone else’s. Especially since I’m not a sorcerer.” 

Their bickering made Eric think they had known each other for a long time, watching how they went back and forth for a while. He just sipped on his tea, letting it warm up his body. It felt like the cold had seeped into his bones, frozen them and they were now getting a good defrosting. 

Having enough of their arguing after he finished most of his tea, he set the cup down, clearing his throat. “I did your crazy drowning thing, so now I get to ask questions and you have to answer them. Whatever you tried to do, it didn’t work, so how about we use our words now?” 

Chanhee seemed more receptive to the idea as he nodded enthusiastically, but Sunwoo contemplated it before nodding in agreement as well. “We’re… not from here, are we?” Eric began.

“No, we had to leave.” Chanhee answered. 

“Why?” 

“Our world… Taurwen was under attack.” 

“From who?” 

“How about we stick to basic questions for now, okay?” Sunwoo interjected this time. 

Eric frowned but ultimately agreed. “And you’re some sort of… witch, Chanhee?” He guessed, but he wasn’t at all certain about that. 

“Not exactly. We’re called druids, we have the capability of learning magic, but it has to be taught to us by someone in the Salinn bloodline. We mainly connect with the earth and wildlife around us. _Some people_ seem to think we’re just replicas of sorcerers, but they’re grossly misinformed.” He gave a little side eye to Sunwoo who rolled his eyes. 

“Okay, so druid and…?” He looked at Sunwoo, fishing for information. 

“We’re called familiars, we--”

“Oh, I know this. You like help witches right? Do their bidding and all that?” Eric said confidently, knowing a thing or two from movies. “So you’re that guy who put this spell on me’s familiar then?”

Sunwoo scoffed, offended by the implication. “ _Never_ .” He corrected Eric a little brashly, “Earth has it all wrong. Things from other worlds bleed into each other and they always misinterpret them. Familiars and sorcerers do _not_ work together, Chanhee and I work together only because--”

“Because his _actual_ master willed it so.” Chanhee giggled, bringing his cup to his lips to hide his smile. 

Sunwoo huffed, “He’s not my master. _Some people_ are grossly misinformed.” He echoed Chanhee’s earlier words. “Familiars bond with lycans, they’re companions for life, usually in a platonic sense. A familiar’s life is dedicated to loyalty and once a lycan and familiar choose each other, they will always watch out for each other.” 

Eric felt even more confused, but maybe he would come to understand eventually. “But can you do anything? Or are you just… _there_?” It was odd learning these things about the person who he assumed was his best friend. All of it felt… strange, like this wasn’t even Sunwoo that he had known for five years, but a stranger now. 

Chanhee giggled again, finding amusement in all of this. “ _Can I do anything?”_ Sunwoo echoed, shaking his head, offended by the question. “Familiars are one of the most powerful creatures--”

“When they’re with their lycan.” Chanhee interjected, sipping on his tea.

Sunwoo shot him a glare, “Yeah, we’re at our peak when we’re bonded and draw energy from lycans, but on our own we’re still strong. We’re considered moon spirits, some say we’re actual fragments of the moon, and we won’t take a form until we’re bonded with a lycan.” 

“And this is your form?” He motioned to Sunwoo’s appearance. 

He shrugged, “For right, now, but I’m not limited to only a human form. I can take on many animal forms too.” 

Eric felt like he was being pranked, but both of them seemed so… _knowledgeable_ about this. Could they really just make up all of this on the spot? And what about his memories (or dreams, he wasn’t sure what was reality anymore)? What they said fit with what he’d seen in those memories and… something about it all just _felt_ true and real, even if it was hard to wrap his head around. 

Slowly, he nodded, trying to process everything. “So Juyeon… he’s a lycan-- _your_ lycan?” Talking to Sunwoo, remembering in his memory how Juyeon had trusted him to go with Eric. As he said the words, it felt right. “Like a werewolf or something like that?” 

Sunwoo scoffed again, shaking his head, “In the most basic sense, sure. They aren’t wild beasts who kill mindlessly though. They’re the most intelligent creatures from our world, they’re capable of many things. They make up our diplomats, warriors, priests.” Clearly, Sunwoo saw highly of these lycans. “But yeah, Juyeon’s who I bonded with.” 

“So who’s Changmin?”

Both of them went silent, Chanhee sipping on his tea and averting his eyes as he looked down in his cup. Sunwoo just looked away from him, and Eric was realizing maybe he asked the wrong question, but now he was even more curious. He could remember only hearing his name in his most recent flashback, but not actually seeing him. He was connected to Sunwoo somehow, but if Juyeon was his lycan, then what did that make Changmin to Sunwoo?

“Let’s not talk about that right now.” Chanhee finally chirped, smiling as he set his cup down. “Are those all the questions for now?” He asked, Eric able to hear the hope in his voice. 

“No, wait. Just one more.” He promised and Chanhee sighed, nodding softly. “What am I? _Who_ am I?” It felt like he had pieces of who he was, but nothing he could really say for _certain_. 

Chanhee and Sunwoo looked at each other and then back at Eric. “Isn’t it obvious?” The pink haired boy asked, tossing his bangs out of his face lightly. Eric just shook his head, feeling like it was the opposite of obvious. “You’re a lycan, but you’re... our prince.”

* * *

**_roy·al·ty:_ **

**_/ˈroiəltē/_ **

**_people of royal blood or status._ **

* * *

“This place is rather odd, isn’t it?” Changmin asked, pulling at his jeans uncomfortably. Juyeon looked sideways at him, shaking his head lightly. 

“It’s… not so bad.” He wondered how Sunwoo and Youngjae had fared in this new place. Taurwen had buildings and large structures, but they weren’t quite like _this_. Their technology was based off of magic and ruins that powered them, but this wasn’t magic at all… it was something entirely different. “We just need to find them before Skens do.” 

“Well, you had that… _thing_ with the prince, right? Can you feel him here?” Changmin asked, cocking his head to the side curiously. 

Juyeon furrowed his brow, frowning as he thought about the invisible string that tied him and Youngjae together. “It’s… _different_ here. I can feel him, but it’s not the same. This world isn’t connected by magic, I don’t know how to navigate it.” It was hard for him to admit that, feeling like Youngjae was just out of his reach and possibly right in the Skens’ grasp. 

Changmin hummed, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as he clearly seemed to think about it. “What about you and Sunwoo? You have your bond, can you feel that?” Changmin was clearly hopeful about this prospect, knowing his attachment to Juyeon's familiar.

It felt like another blow as he was unable to do that as well. His bond with Sunwoo was different from Youngjae’s and it had been a while since he could feel his familiar. Their link (hopefully) only temporarily severed from their separation. Wordlessly, he just shook his head, not wanting to voice his incompetence. If Younghoon was here, Juyeon was certain he could find them, but the thought only made him miss his friend more. 

“Can’t you use that lovely nose of yours to track the Skens? They’re hunting Youngjae, so if you can find them, then you can find him, right?” Changmin smiled at him, his dimples on display. 

“Couldn’t I say the same for you?” Juyeon raised an eyebrow down at him. 

“You know I can’t do what they can. They have a hive mind, but… I don’t have that anymore. I _wish_ I could track them down and make this easier for everyone involved, but I’m not a part of the hive-- not since I was a kid.” Juyeon, of course, knew this, but he wasn’t sure how well he could track in this place without shifting. “I know, it’s just… I’m sure the people of this world won’t take well to a lycan tearing through the streets. I can try without shifting, but we need to hurry.”

Changmin silently agreed with a nod, Juyeon taking a deep inhale, his eyes closed, trying to pick up on a trail, to see not with his eyes, but his senses. There was a hint of it, opening his eyes and able to almost _see_ the scent trail, like a faint guiding line. “This way.” And he began to run with Changmin at his side down the crowded streets of Seoul.


	4. Out of My Hands

Sleep wasn’t something that interested Eric for once. The past two days he was too immersed in the texts Chanhee had. He’d been granted permission to look through the books Chanhee had brought over from their world. All Eric wanted to do was devour it, to know everything about where he actually came from. Finding out that all the memories he thought he had of prior to five years ago were just part of the spell Younghoon had put on him made him eager for this knowledge. If he couldn’t have all of his memories back, he could at least  _ know _ who he was in the most basic of ways. 

“Anything interesting?” Eric jumped slightly as he read on Chanhee’s couch with a single dim light illuminating the text. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” He apologized with a light giggle. 

Eric closed the book with his finger in it to hold his page, “I mean, it’s all pretty interesting, isn’t it?” 

Chanhee nodded in agreement, moving to sit beside him on the couch, folding his legs under him. Eric could have sworn the plant closest to the couch actually  _ moved _ to be closer to Chanhee and the druid actually reached out to stroke it like a pet. Eric rubbed his eyes, sure it was just tiredness getting the best of him. 

“These plants… they aren’t from Taurwen, but you can still talk to them like it says in these books?” Erik asked curiously. 

“It’s different, almost like we speak different languages, but love and care are universal. I can still feel how they do without fully knowing what they’re saying.” Chanhee looked over at the plant he was still stroking. “Besides, not all of them are from Earth. If I was never going to return to Taurwen, I don’t think I could have survived without the plants I am so connected with.” 

“Like those white trees outside, right? I’ve never seen those before.” 

Chanhee smiled, nodding, “Wallows. They were just saplings when I came here and look at them now.” He bopped Eric’s nose, “Sort of like you. You were just like a sapling when we came here and now look at you, all grown up.” 

Eric looked down at the book in his hands, sighing. He wished he had more of his memories. “Will I ever remember it all again?” 

“Oh.” Chanhee was a little caught off guard by his question. “I want to believe you will, I  _ have _ to believe you will.” Eric looked up at him, puzzled. “If Younghoon is the only one who can give you back your memories… I have to believe we’ll all see him again.” 

“Younghoon… he’s special to you?” 

Chanhee’s lower lip quivered slightly, “Very.” 

Eric offered him a soft smile, somehow understanding with very few words just how true that statement was to Chanhee. Even if he couldn’t remember much about Juyeon, he had the  _ feeling _ that he was important to him. The memory of how desperately he wanted to not relinquish his memories told him that much. Eric wanted to have those memories, to understand just how vastly integral they were to his being. 

“How about you get some sleep, Prince Youngjae?” Chanhee suggested, dabbing at his eyes. 

Eric nodded, pulling his finger out from where it was wedged between the pages of his book. Chanhee stood, running his soft, dainty fingers over Eric’s hair and bowing down to kiss the top of his head. It felt like such a strange gesture from someone he had only just met, but he knew that they had known each other much longer than these few days. 

“Chanhee?” Eric called his name as he started to walk away, he turned, humming that he was listening. “You can just call me Eric… if that’s okay?” Youngjae felt like someone he didn’t know, someone who he wasn’t yet. 

Chanhee smiled, “Okay, Eric.” 

* * *

**_re·mem·ber:_ **

**_/rəˈmembər/ verb_ **

**_have in or be able to bring to one's mind an awareness of (someone or something that one has seen, known, or experienced in the past)._ **

* * *

_ “Don’t you love the Wallows, Changmin?” Youngjae asked cheerfully, running through the white and silver tendrils of leaves that hung down.  _

_ “Slow down, Youngjae.” Changmin called for him, pushing the leaves out of his way as he followed the younger through the groves of white trees. “We can’t go too far.”  _

_ “I’m  _ not _.” Youngjae called back, “I just wanted to show you something!” Youngjae wove through the trees, laughing as he was clearly faster than his friend. Youngjae slowed as he got to the clearing at the center of all the Wallows. Changmin was bursting through after him, panting slightly, finally having caught up. Youngjae turned back to look at his first, a smile on his face, “I told you it would be worth it.”  _

_ Changmin’s eyes widened as he looked upon what Youngjae had discovered the other day while he was running through the Wallows. They had set up their base of operation here for the war and they weren’t allowed to explore, but Youngjae couldn’t help himself, especially when it had been so long since he’d seen Wallows. His family’s palace grounds had been covered in the sacred trees, but Skens destroyed all of them when they attacked the royal family.  _

_ “Is that…?” Changmin trailed off, slowly walking up behind Youngjae as he turned to look at the beautiful creature.  _

_ “Yup, a druid.” He said; a little proud of himself.  _

_ “But… they all left.”  _

_ “Not this one.” Youngjae confirmed, stepping closer to it, but Changmin reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him from continuing to walk forward. “It won’t hurt us, it’s okay.” Youngjae had spoken to him before, pulling his arm out of his friend’s grip. “Watch.”  _

_ Youngjae continued to approach the ethereal creature who wasn’t paying any mind to the two boys. His skin looked like porcelain in the light of dawn, hair sparkling in the glow. He was squatting down by the stream that ran through the clearing, his fingers dancing through the light current.  _

_ “You came back.” The druid spoke up, his voice soft and whimsical. Slowly, he turned his head to look at Youngjae, smiling playfully. “And… you brought a friend?” His eyes drifted over to Changmin, but the other boy hid slightly behind Youngjae, even if Changmin was two years older than him, he always acted younger in Youngjae’s opinion. “You’re a… sken?” The druid asked, curiously.  _

_ Changmin swallowed, nodding, “Yes, but I won’t hurt you.” He blurted out quickly.  _

_ “I know.” The druid’s voice was straightforward, looking back at the sparkling water.  _

_ “How?” Came the sken’s soft voice.  _

_ The druid shrugged, not looking at the boys, “Wallows are the best judge of character and they all trust you.” He spoke simply, as if it were glaringly apparent. “I’ve never met a sken like you before.” He turned his head to look back at Changmin and smiled. “You have interesting friends, Prince.”  _

_ “How did you--” _

_ “Youngjae! Changmin!” Youngjae’s head snapped in the direction of his name being called, recognizing it as Juyeon’s voice. A sinking feeling flooded his stomach, the color draining from his cheeks, already knowing he would likely be in trouble. Juyeon (along with a handful of others) came bursting into the clearing. “What are you doing out here? You’re supposed to stay close.” Juyeon reminded him, approaching quickly to wrap an arm around his shoulders and pull him in for a hug. It was all a bit dramatic in Youngjae’s twelve year old opinion.  _

_ “We didn’t go that far.” He retorted, pushing away slightly to look up at him.  _

_ “Regardless, you can’t just run off like that.” He brushed a hand through Youngjae’s hair, then turning on the druid in front of them.  _

_ Some of those who had come with Juyeon surrounded him, like they thought he was a threat. It was Younghoon who called them off though, waving his head for them to part and give the druid space. “You’re still here…” He said a bit in disbelief, Youngjae looking on curiously.  _

_ The druid nodded, “I couldn’t leave  _ them _ defenseless.” He motioned around at all of the Wallows.  _

_ A hint of a smile pulled up at the corners of Younghoon’s lips, “No… I suppose you couldn’t. It’s not safe for you here, though.”  _

_ “I can manage.” He brushed a strand of his sparkling pink hair back behind his ear, almost shyly as the druid was held under Younghoon’s gaze.  _

_ “Maybe I can help a little.”  _

_ “I’ve heard that before, Younghoon…” There was a flirty edge to his tone, the druid fluidly darting away into the trees.  _

_ Youngjae looked up at Juyeon, his eyebrows pulled together, “Younghoon knows him?”  _

_ Juyeon’s gaze flicked down to the younger boy, nodding. “I think… that’s Chanhee.”  _

_ The name meant nothing to Youngjae, feeling like that was a poor explanation. “Whose Chanhee?”  _

_ Juyeon chuckled slightly, wrapping an arm around Youngjae’s shoulders, “Why don’t you stop being so nosy?” His tone was playful as he began to drag Youngjae with him back towards their base. He could see Sunwoo looked upon Changmin, disappointed in him. He was about to assure Sunwoo that wandering so far had been his idea, but Juyeon distracted him as he prompted a race back to base.  _

* * *

**_trick·ster:_ **

**_/ˈtrikstər/ noun_ **

**_a person who cheats or deceives people._ **

* * *

“Where are we going exactly?” Sunwoo was the one who seemed to be in the dark now (along with Eric, of course). 

Chanhee smirked, while he was working on his wardrobe for the evening, holding up various shirts up against his torso while he stood in front of the mirror. “Black Magic.” He spoke plainly, turning around to look at them, popping his hip out to the side slightly. “Which do you think? Red or white?” Holding up the two shirts. One was a dark red with frills and a sheer back, the other a white crop top with a low scoop neck. 

“White.” Eric answered, which seemed to be the right choice as Chanhee gleefully let his robe fall to the floor (Eric averting his eyes in the process) and putting the shirt on. 

“Why would we be going  _ there _ of all places? You can’t actually think--”

“Ah, but I  _ do _ think.” Chanhee cut Sunwoo off with a wink. “It’s been three days and I don’t have the magic to find Juyeon and the others, but  _ he _ does.” 

Sunwoo groaned, “Is he really our last resort?” The familiar flared his arms in protest, collapsing back onto the bed where Eric was sitting. 

“Honestly, he’s our  _ only _ resort. It’s been three days and Juyeon hasn’t come yet. You’re just lucky my wards are the only thing stopping the Skens from finding us.” Chanhee reached out to a newby plant, talking to it, calling it a  _ good boy _ for helping him keep the Skens away. It was odd how Chanhee treated them like humans almost, but that seemed to just be a druid thing. 

Eric had another flashback in his dreams, but he hadn’t talked to Sunwoo and Chanhee about it. There was a hope that maybe he would get more fragments, but he didn’t want to jinx it. For the first time, he had seen Changmin, but it gave him little indication as to what he and Sunwoo’s deal was. 

Chanhee pulled on a pair of tight jeans, his naval on display with his white crop top. “Okay, your turns.” 

Somehow, he ended up in a thin black turtleneck that he was fairly certain was several sizes too small judging from how tightly it hugged his frame and a pair of black jeans. Sunwoo already had an entire wardrobe of his own at Chanhee’s, bringing up questions of how often he came here and what he did while he was here, but Eric didn’t ask. 

“Leather, huh?” Eric asked, nodding towards Sunwoo’s black leather pants with a white t-shirt tucked into them. 

He shrugged, “What? It doesn’t look good?” 

Eric returned the shrug, “I didn’t say  _ that _ .” 

“Can we get going already?” Chanhee asked impatiently. 

Black Magic turned out to be some sort of nightclub (hence the attire) and the person they were looking for was someone by the name of Hwall. “What’s so important about this guy?” Eric nearly had to yell, the music loud even from outside as they waited to get in. 

“He’s from our world-- left years before you even did.” Chanhee informed him, also having to shout. 

“Yeah, and he can’t be trusted.” Sunwoo’s added. 

Eric looked at both of them, learning this new information. “He was exiled from the sorcerers for his practices and so he left our world altogether. Now, he runs this club.” Chanhee shrugged, his hips swaying almost idly to the music. 

“That’s quite a change.” 

They were soon let into the club. It felt a little suffocating inside with so many bodies in close proximity, but Eric stayed close to Sunwoo and Chanhee. His hand wrapped around Sunwoo’s elbow as Chanhee navigated through the club, his small voice apologizing each time he bumped into someone. They made it to what appeared to be the back of the club, encountering a bouncer, but Chanhee had it under control, speaking in some sort of tongue that Eric assumed was from Taurwen. The burly man moved aside to let them pass and they walked down a long hall to a single door. 

Chanhee knocked before he opened the door. Behind a glass desk inside was a spritely looking male with features uncannily like that of a cat, Eric thought. “Chanhee.” He greeted, a large smile breaking the plains of his face, crinkling his narrow eyes. “Haven’t seen you in awhile.” He looked at Sunwoo and Eric, “And you brought friends… a familiar?” The male observed, setting down his pen he had been writing with. “So what do I owe the pleasure?” 

“We need a favor.” 

“A familiar needs  _ my _ help? I never thought I’d see the day…” He leaned back in his chair. Eric could take in his whole attire then, finding that he was dressed extremely nicely, expensive. 

“No,  _ the prince _ needs your help, Hwall.” Sunwoo nodded towards Eric.

He gave a thin lipped smile with an awkward little wave. “Hi.” 

Hwall looked Eric over, “I thought you looked familiar-- a lot like your father. You know, he’s the one who signed off on my exile, hmm?” He hummed, shaking his head. Eric couldn’t get a good read on this guy, especially as his intense gaze looked up at him, smirking. 

“It was your actions that got you exiled.” Sunwoo defended. 

The mention of his father brought up questions of who he even was, not having any memories of him. If Eric was the prince, then obviously his father had been the king. Chanhee waved Sunwoo off, taking charge of the situation. “You know, if you do the prince a favor, your exile could be lifted.” 

Hwall shrugged, “I kind of like it here, why would I want to leave? Besides, the way I hear it, Taurwen isn’t much to go back to now. If the prince is  _ here _ , then it  _ really _ isn’t anything worth going back to.” The sorcerer argued, looking down at his black painted nails. 

“If you don’t help us, Skens  _ will _ tear this world apart too and then what will you have to rule over? You can say goodbye to your little business you have here.” Chanhee countered, raising an eyebrow at him and placing a hand on his hip. 

Hwall narrowed his eyes slightly, not responding right away, but letting it turn over in his head. “What do you need me to do?” He asked finally, “I can’t promise I’ll do it, but I’ll hear your request.”

Chanhee smiled, obviously feeling a little triumphant. “We need to find someone. I don’t know that type of magic, but you do.” 

“What makes you think that?”

“Please, you’re going to try and tell me that  _ the _ infamous trickster doesn’t know something as simple as a location spell?” Eric wondered if it was really  _ that _ simple if Chanhee couldn’t do it, but he didn’t voice that. 

“Alright, I’ll bite… who do you need to find?” 

“Juyeon.” Eric eagerly blurted out. It was strange to feel a connection with someone he had never met before, to have fragments of a past, but nothing that actually felt like  _ his _ . Eric wanted to have memories that were his own, he wanted to  _ find _ him, to see him, to  _ touch _ him. 

“Juyeon is  _ here _ ?” Hwall asked, chuckling with a shake of his head, “So Taurwen is really that bad, hmm?” Again he hummed, though something about it seemed more like a purr. 

“Can you find him or not?” Sunwoo’s patience was running thin with Hwall. 

“Sure I can, but I don’t do anything for free.” Another mischievous smirk. 

“What’s your price?” This time Chanhee spoke, giving Sunwoo a sideways look that said to stop talking. 

“It’s nothing much, just some of your familiar’s blood.” Hwall drummed his fingers on the desk. 

Sunwoo clearly didn’t take well to that demand. “Get fucked!” His voice raised, Eric looking over at him with wide eyes, surprised by the outburst, but also it felt very in character for Sunwoo. “You know I won’t give you that.” 

Eric could remember reading about sorcerers and familiars, about the turmoil between the two races that spanned back centuries, to the beginning of Taurwen’s history. Sorcerers imprisoned many familiars and drained them of their blood because of its magical properties. Now, it was illegal to take a familiar's blood for any use. 

“That’s my price. Take it or leave it.” 

Sunwoo glared at Hwall and both Chanhee and Eric looked at him. It didn’t seem like Eric’s place to make this call, so he stayed quiet, but Chanhee had other things to say apparently. “Maybe… just this once, Sunwoo. It’s for Juyeon, so--”

“I know what it’s for!” He snapped at Chanhee and the druid winced, his lower lip quivering and then jutting out into a pout. Sunwoo looked up at Hwall darkly, “Fine, but then you do the spell.” He warned. 

“Of course, I always keep my word.” His smirk was fixed in place, Hwall’s lips pursed as he smugly watched Sunwoo approach. Hwall quickly got a thin vial and knife, snatching Sunwoo’s hand, slicing his palm, the…  _ silver _ liquid like starlight dripping into the vial. Eric watched in awe, eyes wide. 

Sunwoo tore his hand away as the vial was filled. “Now, Juyeon.” 

A loud commotion suddenly erupted from the otherside of the door, where the actual club was. Screaming and destruction audible from inside of Hwall’s office. “Sorry, boys, but I don’t think there’s anything I can do for you now.” Hwall quickly corked the vial, Sunwoo trying to lunge across the desk for him, but the cat-like sorcerer was gone in a spark of what looked like lightning, sending Sunwoo flying back away from it. 

“Sunwoo--” Chanhee rushed to help the familiar up. The screams continued, but the office shook as the building started to take damage it seemed. “We-- we need to leave.  _ Now _ .” Chanhee looked up at Eric and then they both were looking for another exit out of the office, but there was only a single door. Leading right to the chaos. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is some information Eric read in Chanhee's texts about Taurwen, I will explain more in depth later on in chapters, but if you want to be on the same page as Eric... here you go!
> 
>  _Taurwen_ : The name of Earth in another parallel world. In this world, the structure of Taurwen is basically the same geologically and many of the plants from this world are very similar to those of Earth’s. The world of Taurwen is considered a magical realm. Magic is at the core of this world and fuels just about everything in it. Lycans, familiars, sorcerers, druids, and skens make up the majority of the races existing here. 
> 
> _Beliefs_ : The people of Taurwen all believe pretty much the same basic principle, that their world was created by three gods and all of their bloodlines descend from those gods. Salinn, the god of the sorcerer’s bloodline, Lycanna, the goddess of the lycans’ bloodline and Vorlux, the god of the skens’ bloodline. Familiars and druids are created from elements of the world, familiars are considered deities of the moon, fragments of the moon herself and spirits that seek the companionship of lycans. Druids are much more solitary creatures, they come from the earth itself and are deeply connected to wildlife and the plants on Taurwen. It is said they are responsible for what keeps their world lush and beautiful. There are several other smaller, lesser races, but these are all at the core of Taurwen.
> 
>  _Sorcerers_ : Magic users who practice many different fundamentals. Often very intune with the earth and their surroundings. Usually use rituals and ancient texts to do their magic. Can be close with druids typically and work in harmony with each other. Sorcerers and Familiars do not usually get along because of bad blood in their pasts. Centuries ago, sorcerers used and manipulated familiars for their own personal gain and growth of power, now there is a harborered dislike for each other.
> 
>  _Lycans_ : A race that is deeply rooted to the moon and draws much of their power from it. They rule most of Taurwen and are the largest race. Many of their own personal beliefs are rooted to the moon and worship it. They have the ability to transform into wolf-like beasts, but unlike Earth folklore, they are not savage, but make for amazing diplomats as well as warriors. They are linked to the stars and their spirits remain in the sky when they die, but reenter bodies in a circle of reincarnation once their spirits have healed. Soulmates are an integral part of their culture and those souls that are tied together are seen as sacred and cherished among them. 
> 
> _Skens_ : Called Skens, but often referred to as Skinchangers and Souleaters as well. They are outcast from much of Taurwen society because of their violent nature. They thrive off of destruction and bloodshed. They have the ability to devour the soul of others and take the form and powers of those who they devour. Masters of transformation and can adapt to any environment. It is said that Lycanna and Vorlux were married, but when Lycanna created her first lycan, she fell in love with him and left Vorlux for him. Skens despise lycans and are constantly battling for power over Taurwen with them. There is a legend about an energy crystal that would grant the Skens immense power and bring Vorlux back to Taurwen. 
> 
> _Familiars_ : Spirits of the moon, they only have a spirit form until they are bonded with a lycan (only bonding with one their entire lives) and when they bond, they take on a tangible form. They can appear human, but also can transform into various animals depending on their personality. Extremely loyal race and live to be by the side of their lycan. Some can wait hundreds of years before finding the right lycan to bond with. It isn’t uncommon for a familiar to die shortly after their lycan does. They draw their power from their paired lycan and possess some natural magic of their own. 
> 
> _Druids_ : They are also considered to be more like spirits than humans, but they can always take on a human form. They are very connected to the earth and animals, able to even become trees and plants if they desire. Can feel the pain and happiness of the earth around them and some are even said to be so connected to the earth that they can see into the future. Don’t socialize with many of the other races except sorcerers and have been known to have the ability to pick up some magic from them.


	5. Anchor

The walls of Black Magic shook, people continued to scream. Everything about this felt eerily similar to his first  _ true _ memory. He had just been a child then, but he could recall how his family’s palace shook, and heard the distinct sounds of a fight. Lycans and Skens tearing each other apart. Eric didn’t want a repeat of that. He wanted to get out of here without having his soul devoured. 

“Sunwoo! Get up!” Chanhee yelled at him, but he seemed to be unconscious from being thrown back by whatever spell Hwall had performed. The sorcerer was gone and left them to fend for themselves against this threat. 

Now, Eric understood why Sunwoo didn’t want to trust him. He’d taken Sunwoo’s blood and then left them to die. He wiped away an angry, scared tear that was falling down his cheek before he rushed over to Sunwoo, shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. “Sunwoo!” He also yelled, but his body just flopped lifelessly as both Eric and Chanhee tried to rouse him. 

Frantically, Eric looked over at Chanhee, “What do we do?” 

“I-I don’t know.” He stammered, his angelic features pulled down into worry that Eric had never seen before on his face. “Without Sunwoo we don’t stand a chance.” Chanhee swallowed, standing up, leaving Eric by the familiar’s unconscious body. 

“Where are you going?” Eric asked, blinking back tears that welled in his eyes. 

“Well I have to do  _ something _ !” He’d never heard Chanhee really raise his voice, his voice cracked slightly as he did. 

Chanhee faced the door that separated them from the Skens looking for them-- looking for  _ Eric _ . He could only see the druid’s back, but he could tell he clasped his hands together, unable to hear the words he was starting to murmur to himself, but it almost sounded like a prayer or something. Eric could hear him say  _ Younghoon _ at least once, but still Eric had no idea what he was doing. 

The druid’s hands started to glow green, some sort of energy expanding between his palms, swirling around and making his pink hair blow out of his face. Eric could hear the Skens getting closer, tearing through the hallway, rattling the office walls in the process. 

“Chanhee…” Eric trailed off, voice high pitched, worried for what was to burst through that wall. Eric couldn’t help thinking these would be his final moments. He would die before even  _ meeting _ Juyeon and getting more pieces of his past. Juyeon had promised Eric that he would find him, but what if Eric didn’t give him the opportunity to uphold it? 

Hastily, he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand just before the wall to the hall splintered and burst open. A small horde of Skens broke it down. The wood shot at them, but Chanhee let out a scream as he finished his cantation, his hands forcing the green ball of energy at the Skens. It was like a shockwave, a force of energy erupting from Chanhee’s hands and shooting the Skens backwards. The building was in ruins now, but that was the least of any of their concerns now. 

Eric had never seen a Sken before (not even in his memories) aside from Changmin, but something told him that Changmin was  _ very _ different from these Skens. Their skin was almost repiline, scaly and their bodies were looming, tall and bulky with mouths full of jagged teeth, reminding Eric of a shark with all of their rows of teeth. The Skens cried out in pain, sickening sounds that made him cover his ears from how  _ loud _ and piercing it was. 

Chanhee was still standing there though, starting another cantation while the Skens were getting up, tossing the rubble from their bodies. They hissed at them, long tongues slapping out of their mouths. 

All Eric knew was that they needed to get out of here. He looked back down at Sunwoo, shaking him once again, “Please, wake up!” Eric yelled at him, violently shaking his shoulders. “Sunwoo, please! We need to leave!” He didn’t understand why Sunwoo wasn’t waking up. If he was as powerful as he had claimed familiars were, a blowback from a spell shouldn’t have done this to him. It begged the question of if Hwall did something to him during it. Tears continued to prick his eyes as Eric’s gaze darted from Sunwoo up to Chanhee as a different colored energy was sparking from his hands-- white and silver. 

The Skens were approaching, Eric couldn’t help thinking how they looked at them like they were their next meal. “Chanhee! Do something!” Eric yelled frantically, but Chanhee didn’t respond. Small grunts left his lips as he was expanding the silver-white energy between his hands. Everything about his body seemed tense, expending all of his energy to make whatever he was doing work. Eric just hoped it actually did something to stop them. 

Chanhee yelled, the Skens now charging back at them, going in for the kill. Just as one of them was lunging at them, Chanhee broke his hands apart, releasing what he had built up. It didn’t send any burst of energy or blast the Skens back, but a shimmering, starlit bubble enveloped them, like a tiny shield. The Skens jumped at it, hitting it with a hard force, but it just absorbed their impacts. Chanhee’s knees buckled, but he stayed standing, his hands out, keeping the force field in place. Eric could hear his small, heavy puffs of air as he worked to keep them safe. 

The Skens stopped attacking the bubble, instead stalking around the perimeter, eyes on Chanhee, they were just waiting now. Waiting for Chanhee to drop and the shield likely to fall with him. Eric knew they needed Sunwoo. He couldn’t do anything and Chanhee was clearly wavering. He wasn’t a sorcerer, he could only imagine what spells like this could do to him, the toll it would take on him. 

Frustrated and scared, he looked back down at Sunwoo, slapping him across the face. He felt out of options on what he should do, but the hard crack of his hand did nothing. “Sunwoo… please…” He cried, his fists balling into the familiar’s shirt. Eric’s eyes caught on the bubble then though, seeing how it started to flicker. As he looked back at Chanhee, he swayed, about to collapse. The Skens noticed as well, starting to thrash against the barrier, just waiting for it to fall. Eric stood, going to support Chanhee, keep him from falling. “Just… just a little longer.” He told the druid, though he wasn’t sure what the solution here would be. A little longer and then what? 

He could feel Chanhee’s weight giving out, feeling him starting to collapse back into his grip. “No, no, no! You can’t stop now.” Eric pleaded with him, getting a better grip on him, supporting his weight as he hooked his arms under Chanhee’s armpits. The shield seemed to flicker more though, Eric felt defenseless, helpless to protect two people he knew he cared about. He couldn’t even protect  _ himself _ , let alone the people he cared for. 

Just when all hope seemed to be lost, a thunderous growl sounded from behind the Skens. The sound made a shiver rack through Eric’s entire body. It crawled up his spine and made his toes curl. Somehow he  _ knew _ that sound, but at the same time he didn’t. It was a bone deep sensation, rooted deep inside his being. 

A flash of black fur tore through the busted wall, taking on the five or six Skens (Eric had been too panicked to really count). Seeing this threat, the Skens abandoned the bubble, all of them zeroed in on this… lycan? The texts Eric read had drawings and sketches of lycans and that’s what this one looked like, but he never imagined they would be so large. It was covered in midnight black fur that almost seemed like a dark blue in the right lighting. It was something between man and beast, tall with an arched back and hulking arms with sharp claws and canine-like teeth from it’s muzzle. 

The lycan wasn’t alone, another creature that Eric had no idea what it was by its side. Smaller than the lycan, oddly enough it seemed to resemble a bear, but next to the lycan it seemed small. Eric continued to hold onto Chanhee, supporting him, even as the barrier was barely there, just a flickering silver light around them. He watched with knots in his stomach as the two fought back against the Skens. It was a mess of fangs and claws, blood and clumps of fur. One of the Skens threw the bear against the wall, the walls shaking again. Eric was pretty sure the whole building would come down at this point, expecting it to. 

Eric flinched at the carnage, watching the lycan’s jaw clamp down around the Sken’s throat, the sound of it sickening, making his stomach churn. Chanhee finally fully collapsed into him, Eric huffing with his weight in his arms, working to lay him down besides Sunwoo on the ground. 

Through all of the wreckage and bloodshed, the lycan and… familiar? (he wasn’t actually sure what the bear creature was) were coming out victorious. Their forms morphed into that of humans, Eric’s eyes caught on the lycan though. He was tall with disheveled deep, deep blue hair. His features were sharp, eyes piercing and his nose curved and pointed, but in a way that flattered his handsome face. Everything about him was familiar, recognizing him immediately as Juyeon, even if he had obviously aged five years. A warmth spread through his chest as he looked at him, some deep part of Eric telling him that Juyeon kept his promise. 

Juyeon and… he looked over at the other boy. He was shorter with a small square face and wide set eyes that gave him an innocent look. Vaguely, a little voice in the back of his head recognized him as Changmin. The two males ran towards them, both panting from their battle. The hot carcasses of those they slayed in the back drop as they dropped down besides Eric, looking over Sunwoo and Chanhee. 

Eric couldn’t take his eyes off of Juyeon, but it seemed like he wasn’t even looking at him, crouched down besides Sunwoo. “What happened to him?” Juyeon asked, now looking up at Eric. Their eyes met and it made his breathing pick up, having all of the lycan’s attention on him made him… squirm. It wasn’t a feeling he was familiar with. 

He blinked, then remembered Juyeon had asked him something, remembering that things were still serious and danger was still looming over their heads. “Uh, I-I don’t know.” Eric admitted, “There was a sorcerer, he took his blood and then Sunwoo got hit by the spell when he left.” 

Juyeon didn’t say anything back to him, but looked down at Sunwoo, pulling his head and shoulders up into his lap. Gently, Juyeon pushed Sunwoo’s hair out of his eyes and leaned down, pressing their foreheads together. There was an unwanted sensation that twisted in Eric’s stomach as he watched the two of them. Eric didn’t want to label it, thinking it was absurd to feel this way-- jealous-- about someone he had just met… and yet… they hadn’t just met, right? There was still so much he didn’t know, but now wasn’t the time to ask them. 

Juyeon stayed with his forehead pressed against Sunwoo’s, matching his breathing with the familiar’s slow breaths. Eric didn’t say anything, but just watched (even if it felt like some weird intimate moment he shouldn’t be watching). Eventually, there was a silver glow that illuminated between their pressed foreheads and Sunwoo suddenly gasped for air, eyes shooting open. Juyeon sat up right, smiling wordlessly down at his familiar. Sunwoo blinked up at him before he  _ really _ realized who it was. He shot up, immediately wrapping his arms harshly around Juyeon and the lycan returned it just as roughly. 

They grabbed onto each other so tightly, Eric feeling that envy swirling in his gut once more. He hated that it was there, trying to remind himself that Sunwoo was Juyeon’s familiar, that their bond was deep and meaningful. They hadn’t seen each other in  _ five _ years. A small voice in the back of his head spoke up, reminding him that Juyeon hadn’t seen  _ Eric _ in five years too. 

In sync, they pulled apart, looking at Eric and Chanhee (who was now the unconscious one). “What did you do to him?” Eric asked, his eyes fixated on Juyeon, wanting to have the lycan’s eyes on him again, liking the burning he felt when he did. And when they did fall on him, he curled his toes at the overwhelming sensation. If he was standing, he was sure he would be wobbling. Eric refocused on the situation at hand, realizing that things were likely far from over. 

“Whatever the sorcerer did to him, it took part of his essence temporarily, so I gave him some of mine.” Juyeon’s eyes were unwavering on him, intense and Eric actually had to look away, feeling the weight of them. It was like having Juyeon see parts of himself he didn’t know existed. When he looked at Eric, he saw  _ all _ of him. “We need to move.” Juyeon spoke again and Eric looked back up at him, but he was looking at the group now and not just him. “There will be more.” 

Eric looked down at Chanhee in his lap, thinking that even unconscious he was pretty with his puffy lips and soft hair. “Where will we go?” Eric hoped Juyeon would look at him again, but he didn’t. 

“Changmin will go with you and Chanhee. Sunwoo and I will make sure no one follows you until you get somewhere safe.” 

A brief panic seized him. “Wait, what? I-I-- you just found me? How can you leave again? What if--” 

Juyeon reached out, pressing a soft finger against his lips, stopping him from continuing. The contact made his lips buzz, like soft static against his skin. “I have to make sure I can keep you safe. I’ll come back for you-- I always do.” He smiled, lips curling up at the corners and Eric felt his throat close up, unable to speak, so he simply nodded in agreement and Juyeon dropped his finger. 

“Go back to Chanhee’s. His wards will keep you safe and hidden.” Sunwoo instructed this time. “You know the way back, don’t you?” 

“Maybe?” Eric wanted to do  _ something _ , but he didn’t know this part of the city and there had been so many streets and turns to get to Chanhee’s place. 

“I can find it.” Changmin spoke up and Eric turned to look at him. His gaze was endlessly fixed on Sunwoo though. As Sunwoo looked up at him, part of that jealousy from early faded, seeing an expression sweep through his eyes he’d never seen before. It felt intimate, but also… so, so  _ sad _ . A sort of longing there that Eric didn’t understand, but wanted to know more. “You can trust it with me.”

“I know I can.” Sunwoo responded simply, getting to his feet and approaching Changmin. They held their palms out, pressing them flatly against each other and closed their eyes. Eric couldn’t see anything happening, but he figured it was some sort of transfer of information? It brought up more questions about who Changmin was. Could Skens and familiars connect like that? 

Their eyes opened at the same time, but they kept their palms together, Changmin curling his fingers to hold Sunwoo’s hand, but Sunwoo pulled away. The questions continued to pop up in his head when it came to these two, but he had no answers. Changmin looked down at him now, giving him a small smile, seeing the same dimples from his memory. 

Changmin lifted Chanhee off of him, Eric joining the others on their feet. He could really see the height difference he had with Juyeon now, having to look up at him. “Get there safely.” Juyeon told Changmin, then his eyes were back on Eric, making him feel even smaller than he already was. “I… I won’t be long.” Somewhat shyly, it seemed, Juyeon extended his palm for Eric, but Eric hesitated. He recalled the gesture from his memory, remembering the feeling when they would touch like that. Nervously, he pushed his hands into his pockets. It hurt deep inside of him to reject that embrace, but something about it scared him. The prospect of  _ feeling _ a connection that he had no memories of (aside from a few), frightened him. He didn’t want to be manipulated by blind emotions. 

Juyeon lowered his hand, looking away from Eric and at Sunwoo, wordlessly communicating with him it seemed. They were running out of the office, Juyeon shifting into the hulking wolf-creature and Sunwoo’s body shrunk into what looked like a russet, bushy tailed fox, keeping up with the lycan. 

* * *

**_re·un·ion_ **

**_/rēˈyo͞onyən/ noun_ **

**_an instance of two or more people coming together again after a period of separation._ **

* * *

“He doesn’t remember anything, does he?” Juyeon’s voice held a note of sorrow to it that he tried to hide. The image of Youngjae pushing his hands into his pockets replayed over in his head. Of course, he knew this would happen given the spell Younghoon had put on him, but he didn’t realize how painful it would be. Looking at Youngjae, he expected to see all of his own feelings reflected back at him, but there was little more than his own reflection in his eyes. 

“He… remembers  _ some things.” _ Sunwoo spoke slowly, like he was trying to walk on eggshells with this topic. Juyeon gave him a growl in response and his familiar relented and continued. “Some things he remembered on his own-- I don’t know how. He’s been having dreams about you and Taurwen for months, I think. It’s not all there though. He knows who you are, sort of. It seems like he has fragments but not the whole picture.” 

Juyeon didn’t really feel comforted by this. The fact that he had remembered some on his own puzzled him. It brought up questions about Younghoon and his whereabouts. What happened to his friend was a mystery and he wondered if the dreams had something to do with Younghoon. Regardless of all that, Juyeon didn’t want to be the one to break to Chanhee that Younghoon wasn’t with them. He wasn’t sure he could handle more heartbreak on top of his own. 

Juyeon didn’t respond, instead focusing on their task at hand. Subtly in this new world might have been something he took into consideration prior to the Skens attack, but now it seemed a little silly after what so many humans had witnessed. Skens were hardly Earthly beings, so concealing his own identity was the last of his concerns. Still, they stuck to the dark allies of the city, Juyeon’s nose tracking down the actual hive. 

It had been five years since he felt so connected to Sunwoo. His worries that they had lost their bond were quelled. When he’d put his essence into Sunwoo, he could feel it there. And now, as they ran side by side, it was there. The only bond he was missing now was his with Youngjae. 

The pair found the hive. They took the shape of humans now, blending into the environment, but Juyeon could still smell a Sken from miles away. In the alley, they both took human form, stepping out onto the busy street, Juyeon nodding to the several groups of people walking together. Skens. 

“So how do we want to do this?” Sunwoo asked, looking over at Juyeon. 

The lycan paused, watching the patterns of the Skens’ movements, seeing where they were headed. “They have Youngjae’s trail.” Juyeon could tell, like he could see they were following him. “We just have to lead them away.” He looked back at Sunwoo, “What way is Chanhee’s place?” Sunwoo pointed it out, which meant they had to get them to go the opposite direction. “We just need to avert the Skens and give them enough time to get to the wards.” 

“Did you forget I’m a master of distractions?” Sunwoo asked, smirking as he looked at Juyeon. 

“How could I forget?” He rolled his eyes playfully, missing the companionship of his familiar. 

And just like that, Sunwoo no longer stood before him, but morphed effortlessly into a falcon, wings flapping smoothly as he took to the sky. Juyeon’s eyes watched him as he swooped down towards the group of Skens. They took notice and Juyeon moved in as well, waiting for Sunwoo to make contact before he did. His familiar swooped down close to them again, shifting lowly into a grizzly bear, falling on top of some of the Skens. The  _ actual _ humans nearby screamed, fleeing the wild animal, but the Skens all stayed while Sunwoo lashed out with his large clawed paw. Juyeon fought the current of people to get to Sunwoo, but lost his patience, shifting into his lupine form, towering over the humans, giving them another reason to scream, but at least now he didn’t have to worry about them being in his way. 

With a superhuman leap, he jumped to his familiar’s side, definitely getting the Skens’ attention, seeing how many of them shed their human skin in lieu of their cursed, reptilian monstrosity. Hitting the wasps nest seemed to work, leading them on a chase in the opposite direction of Chanhee’s place. 

An hour later, the tricky part was losing the hive and getting back to Chanhee’s as well. It was well into the early hours of morning by the time Juyeon heard the familiar melody of chimes. He recognized it from his own childhood. It always brought back memories of his mother, of her gentle voice as she would sing the hymns of Lycanna. It seemed like an odd mellody for Chanhee to enchant these chimes to play, thinking he might prefer the Song of the Wind or even the Wallows Regalia. 

Juyeon ducked into the threshold of the house, not wanting to hit his head on all of the plants that hung in the entranceway. Sunwoo led the way inside, but inside, all was still. The living room they entered into was quiet, Changmin turned to look at them. He was sitting on an armchair adjacent to the couch. The sken smiled at them, but his eyes clearly lingered more on Sunwoo. 

“Everything’s okay?” Changmin asked, standing from his seat. 

“For now.” Juyeon’s eyes looked past Changmin though, to the couch where Youngjae laid, curled up in several blankets, a book open on his chest like he had fallen asleep reading it. 

“There’s another bed in the other room, Juyeon. I can sleep in the chair. I don’t mind.” Changmin offered, but Juyeon shook his head, not looking at the sken. 

“I’ll stay out here, you can take it.” 

Sunwoo was quick to speak up, “I can keep you company and--”

Juyeon shook his head, “No, get some sleep.” He instructed, turning his head to look at his familiar with a small smile. “Besides, I think you could use the time alone, don’t you?” Juyeon gave Sunwoo a knowing look, his eyes darting to Changmin, knowing that the two had to talk through things, to sort out what was between them. 

With that, Juyeon moved towards Youngjae, picking up the book from his chest and setting it on the coffee table. He looked down at Youngjae, lightly brushing his blond hair off his forehead. He moved to take up occupancy in the armchair, settling back into it, his eyes just focused on Youngjae’s features as he slept, seeing how they pulled together and then relaxed. The younger was likely going through some type of dream. Juyeon couldn’t help but wonder if it was about him...


	6. Same Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i _strongly_ suggest listening to the linked song on repeat while you read this chapter. it is a _very_ accurate musical depiction of the emotions in this entire chapter. this is all i listened to while writing the entire thing!
> 
> <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVN1B-tUpgs>

_Youngjae could feel the grass between his toes, the wind tickling at his skin. It was moments like these that he felt most connected to the world around him, to the ancestors who had come before him and those that would come after him. But most importantly, he could feel all those whom he had lost. If he closed his eyes, the soft wind that blew across his face was almost a caress, tender and sweet like that of his mother before he would fall fast asleep each night._

_“It’s late, prince.”_

_Eric opened his eyes quickly, turning in the courtyard to see Chanhee. His hair sparkled like starlight under the light from the moon. “Oh, I was just about to go to bed.” He assured the druid, wiping a tear from his eye, blinking. Thoughts of his mother, his father, and his sister stirred emotions inside in him. Memories he could barely recall now after so many years. He had been so young when they were attacked. What he could remember of his family… he wasn’t sure if they were real memories, or things he had only dreamed up. Regardless, he didn’t want Chanhee to see him crying._

_“You don’t have to leave on my account.” Chanhee moved to stand next to Youngjae where he stood in the grass. “It’s nice out here-- and the plants, they like you being out here too.” Chanhee smiled at him and Youngjae mirrored it._

_The two stood in silence for a long moment before Youngjae spoke up. “Younghoon… he’s the reason you joined us, isn’t he?” He didn’t look over at the druid, but instead focused his eyes up at the moon and all of the stars that sparkled._

_Chanhee didn’t respond right away, leaving Youngjae to think maybe he wouldn’t answer at all. It wasn’t his place to know everyone’s business. Some things are private, intimate details. Juyeon reminded him of that often. Finally, the pink haired druid spoke up, but neither of them looked at each other while he did. “I suppose he is.” His voice was small and dainty, just like his appearance._

_“You’ve known him for a long time, haven’t you?” It was no secret that sorcerers and druids could both live long,_ long _lives spanning many centuries. Lycans could easily live a hundred years, but their spans were much more measured, cherished time on Taurwen before they rejoined the stars, waiting for another opportunity to walk on the earth again._

_“Yes.” Again, Chanhee’s voice was small and this time Youngjae did look over at him, seeing the far off look in his eyes. He was lost in a memory it seemed, caught up in a moment that Youngjae had no access to. “We… we’ve spent our lives running in circles around the other, but never fully together. Now…” A smile pulled up on his lips and he covered his mouth with his hand, bashful. “Maybe things can be different.”_

_As if right on cue, another voice spoke up in the starlit night. “Chanhee…” They both turned to see Younghoon. “I was waiting for you.”_

_Chanhee seemed to blossom at the sight of Younghoon, stepping towards him, but then paused. “Don’t let sorrow grasp you too tightly, prince.” Chanhee told him, his small hand reaching out to stroke Youngjae’s cheek, a smile offered to him. Youngjae watched as Chanhee seemed to melt into Younghoon’s embrace. The sorcerer wrapped his arms around him, head bowed to lose his lips in the pink tendrils of hair. Youngjae felt as if he shouldn't watch such an intimate embrace, especially when Chanhee looked up to Younghoon. Their eyes searched each other’s, so much seemed to be spoken between their gazes._

_Their lips met and a hot flush covered Youngjae’s entire body, eyes enchanted by something so…_ pure _in a world that was shrouded by darkness and death. War raged on and yet, somehow these two could find happiness in it, find light. Youngjae wanted to find the light as well. His soul longed deeply for its other half in moments like these._

_“You know, it’s not polite to snoop on such private affairs.” A voice tickled the back of his ear and Youngjae jumped, clutching his chest as he spun around to see Juyeon. He had been so wrapped up in watching Chanhee and Younghoon that he hadn’t heard Juyeon approach._

_“I-I wasn’t watching for very long, I just happened to catch a glimpse.” Youngjae lamely tried to defend himself._

_“Well, that’s not the way I saw it, little pup.” A smirk curled the corners of Juyeon’s lips, another wave of heat enveloping his body at being exposed. “It’s okay, I won’t tell.” He promised, holding his hand out for Youngjae to take and the younger took it easily. Their fingers laced, Youngjae’s small in Juyeon’s, but it felt warm and safe there. Regardless of everything that was falling apart around them… he had Juyeon to chase away thoughts of it._

_Wordlessly, they walked through the courtyard, weaving through the trees. It was quiet, sounds of war far away from their base. Selfishly, Youngjae wanted to keep Juyeon with him here-- where it was safe and they could be together, but… he knew that desire wasn’t one befitting a prince. Their days were always numbered between Juyeon fighting Skens from their lands and when their forces would return to recuperate and plan their next attack._

_“Where are we going?” He asked curiously, looking up at Juyeon._

_“Somewhere special.” Juyeon was always short on words, but Youngjae thought that was just because he used his words more meaningfully, especially compared to him. Sometimes, he couldn’t stop talking._

_There were more questions he had, impatient and both hating and loving surprises. He forced himself to not speak though, walking with Juyeon to a large boulder in the center of the woods towards the edge of the base’s grounds. It resembled that of the moon almost. It was round and smooth, a very light silver color that reflected back up at the moon. Youngjae’s eyebrows furrowed, “I… I know what this is.”_

_Juyeon smiled at him, “I thought you would.”_

_Youngjae let go of Juyeon’s hand and approached the rock with caution. “I thought it was lost though?” He looked back at Juyeon before he raised his palm to press against the surface of it. Even from this distance, he could feel the cold emanating from it._

_With a shake of his head, Juyeon walked up to Youngjae’s side, standing before the rock as well. “Nothing is ever lost, Youngjae.” He watched as Juyeon closed his eyes, pressing his palm to the rock’s tranquil surface. “To lose something implies that it can not be recovered. If you try hard enough, it can always be found.”_

_Youngjae didn’t quite know what he meant by that, but he nodded his head regardless. “Am I… can I touch it?” He asked sheepishly._

_Juyeon opened his eyes to look down at him, “Of course.”_

_With some hesitation, Youngjae laid his palm against the surface of the rock. It felt like a channel, as if he were dialing into a strange, unknown frequency. There was a faint buzz in his head and he tried to focus on it, to understand what it was. Finally, he heard it, like things were clearer. Soft voices played over each other, overlapping, whispering to him. Some said his name, others spoke words to him, but they were all one on top of the other, there was a moment where all went quiet. A voice he had only heard in his dreams sounded, but it didn’t speak to him, instead… it_ sang.

The moon softly sways under my gaze, 

Remember my prayer when the night is bare. 

Darkness cannot harm you

When I am your light. 

Let me guide you,

Let me guide you,

Let me guide you. 

I’ll keep you close, 

Smother your fears and flourish your radiance.

I am your light,

Always your light. 

_Youngjae pulled his hand away like he had been burned. His eyes widened, looking up at Juyeon, holding his palm. “That-- it was my mother.” He told Juyeon in disbelief, “She… she sang to me.” He could remember the hymn from his childhood, like a faint memory now crawling back to him fully. Her voice had been soft and soothing, but it was even more so hearing it again. It felt like a precious gift to be given back._

_“She must have been who you needed.” Juyeon told him softly._

_Youngjae nodded, knowing what this stone was, the Moongem. A link between lycans and their past lives and to their ancestors as well who were already up in the net of stars. Youngjae had only felt his mother really, had no feeling of his past life. He knew_ who _he was, but he had no link to them. “It was only my mother though...” While he was happy to have heard his mother, there was another voice he wished to hear from, to have some indication of what he was supposed to do, who he was supposed to be. He wanted their wisdom._

_“Maybe you just aren’t ready for that yet.” Juyeon told him, voice soft but also blunt._

_He frowned, not liking the answer. “What do you feel when you do it?”_

_“That’s a private thing to ask.” Youngjae blushed, knowing he asked too many questions, that he wanted to know too much. “But… for you, it’s not too private.” He looked up at Juyeon, but his eyes were on the night sky, on all of the stars. “It’s like our bond, but different. I can feel him more than I can hear him. It's warmth, but also pain…”_

_“Pain because of what happened?” Youngjae asked._

_Juyeon nodded, looking down at him, “Our souls, Youngjae… they had to heal for a long time.”_

_“But they’re together again.” Youngjae pointed out, “So we have to protect them this time. I’ll protect you, Juyeon. No matter what I have to do. We protect each other, right?” He smiled up at Juyeon and the older male returned it._

_“Always.”_

* * *

**_lost:_ **

**_/lôst,läst/ adjective_ **

**_denoting something that has been taken away or cannot be recovered._ **

* * *

Each dream Eric had felt like a small glimpse into his past, another piece of the puzzle. Selfishly, he wanted more, to stay sleeping forever so he could get all of it. Fragments weren’t enough. Without all of it, he felt useless. Everyone was working so hard to protect him, but whatever the key to all of this was… it was locked away. 

This… _past life_ he’d referred to in his dream felt important. Eric needed more, but something told him that no one would give him the answers he sought, like he needed to discover it for himself. 

As he woke up, he expected light to be streaming in through the windows, but it was dark out, a faint glow from the moon allowing his eyes to adjust in the dark. Someone sat across from him in the chair, asleep with his head resting against the side of it. As his eyes blinked to gain clarity, he could make out the distinct arch of Juyeon’s nose, see the squareness of his chin and his broad shoulders. Eric stayed perfectly still, stealing this moment to just _watch_ him. It felt like he’d walked into one of his dreams, seeing him there in front of him. He was greeted with the same warmth that spread from the tips of his ears and warmed the soles of his feet. 

His dream still lingered, recalling the fondness he held for Juyeon, the trust that he felt over all else. That _link_ they had was there, but Eric didn’t know how to access it. He wasn’t sure how long he stared at Juyeon before the lycan blinked his eyes open. Their gazes met, the heat he felt increasing as they did. 

“Hi.” Eric spoke first, sitting up on the couch, the blanket falling and pooling at his waist. 

“Hi.” Juyeon echoed, Eric watched as he turned his neck after sleeping in such an uncomfortable position and then sat up straight. 

A silence fell over them then, neither of them knowing what to say. Eric wanted to fill the void, but when he opened his mouth, no words came out. What was he supposed to say to someone that he knew he… _loved_ , but didn’t actually feel it himself. It felt residual, like they were emotions that weren’t his own and if he allowed himself to feel them, it was like he was stealing Juyeon from someone else. Someone who _actually_ loved him. 

“You came back.” Eric finally spoke, looking down at his hands in the dark, picking at his thumbnail. 

“I always will.” A twisting settled into his stomach, feeling like those words weren’t meant for him, but someone he didn’t know how to be for Juyeon. 

Another long pause. The absence of speaking laid way for other noises that Eric picked up on. The windchimes outside, continuing to play their soft melody. The hum of Chanhee’s refrigerator from the kitchen. And… soft whispering between two voices coming from the guest bedroom. 

“Will you come outside with me?” Juyeon broke the silence this time and Eric looked up to meet his gaze. 

Wordlessly, he nodded. They both stood up, Eric padding his bare feet behind Juyeon as they walked to the back door that led to Chanhee’s small courtyard and the Wallows that surrounded the black pond. Juyeon sat down on the bench there, motioning for Eric to join him. With his arms wrapped around himself for warmth, he obliged. 

Again, they sat in silence. Neither of them spoke, Eric looked down at the pond, remembering how he felt in it, how being in there had awoken something. Since then, his memories slowly came back to him each time as he slept. Glimpses of who he was. Getting access to a window to look inside, but not knowing where the door was to walk in. 

“Is it always so dark here?” Juyeon asked. It seemed like such an odd question, remembering Taurwen in his dreams to be just as dark, but as he looked over at the lycan, his eyes were drawn upwards to the night sky, only a few stars twinkling above. Something about that was almost _sad_ , never really realizing just how empty it looked. Taurwen’s night sky had been like a painting, sprinkled with endless stars, each dazzling, forming large clusters in the night. 

Eric frown, his gaze trained up on the sky as well, “I… I guess it is. I never really noticed it before. The city lights dim out the stars or something like that.” 

Juyeon didn’t respond right away, Eric feeling like he chose his words wisely, thought things through before he spoke. It was an odd observation, but it felt correct, like he could remember pieces of Juyeon and now saw them reflected in the lycan’s behavior. “No wonder you’re so lost.” 

“I thought nothing’s ever lost?” Eric echoed words from his dream tonight. Both of them looked over at each other, eyes meeting. Juyeon’s gaze was so intense, it made Eric squirm, but he tried to hold it, to see all that played in those charcoal irises. 

“So long as you try hard enough to find it.” A smile pulled at the corners of his lips, reminding him of his dreams, seeing so much affection etched across his features. “Are you…” Juyeon paused, looking back up at the sky, “Are you trying to find your way back?” The question seemed so small and vulnerable off his lips, like he was scared to even ask it. 

It carried a weight with it that made Eric swallow. “I don’t think I know how.” He admitted, feeling like that answer both disappointed himself and Juyeon. He _wanted_ to be able to tell Juyeon that he was trying to come back to him, that he understood what that meant, but he didn’t. There were pieces of it he had, but still so many gaps, things he didn’t understand. 

Juyeon turned to him slightly, looking at him, but Eric couldn’t meet his gaze, just looking down at his hands once more. “Then let me help you.” 

“How?” Eyes still fixed on his cuticles. 

Another pause, leaving room for Eric to hear the sound of Juyeon’s breathing, the wind brushing the leaves against each other. Lightly, he felt Juyeon’s finger curl under his chin, lifting his gaze up to him. This is what he had been afraid of, to look up and see so much emotion conveyed in that gaze, to see everything Juyeon felt for him. He _yearned_ to feel it similarly, but it felt like when he tried, he was met with a brick wall denying him access. “Your hand…” Juyeon lifted up his palm like he had done at the club, like he’d done in his memory. 

“I don’t… I’m scared.” Eric admitted, wishing he could look away, but Juyeon’s eyes captivated him, holding him under their spell. 

“You can trust me, Youngjae.” Juyeon promised and something tugged inside of him, told him to do as Juyeon said. “Hands… they’re how our souls _feel_. Every palm is unique, isn’t it? It’s like a map of what’s inside, a key. Let me help you unlock what you’re missing-- even if it’s just a single door.” The words made him shiver (and not from the cold), feeling them in his bones. 

Slowly, he nodded, lifting up his palm and hesitantly pressing it against Juyeon’s. The touch was unlike anything he had ever felt before, instinctually pulling away like it was hot coals. Juyeon didn’t say anything, but just continued to hold his hand out for him to accept. Again, Eric reached out. Palm to palm. The sensation started at their hands, but it didn’t end there. It extended through his entire body, filling him up. It felt like _magic_ almost, like a tether looping them together, stretching from Juyeon’s body into his own, sewing them together. It made his heart race as he felt it. There were flares of emotions he had been unable to conjure up when it came to Juyeon, sensations that sparked through his chest and ricocheted to the rest of his body. His gaze stayed on Juyeon’s eyes and not the invisible tether that he could feel between their hands.

 _This_ is what his dreams spoke of when they talked about a bond. An extension of himself reflected into Juyeon and Eric did the same for Juyeon. It felt cosmic, transcending the flesh and bones they were in. Even if he never got all of his memories back… he could have _this_ , he realized. It was the most connected to his past and former self he had ever felt. 

With a shaky hand, he removed his palm from Juyeon, but he could now still feel that tether between them, like a small reminder of who he was. “You’re… mine.” The words fell from his lips effortlessly. It felt perfect to label Juyeon as such, like it was the title he had been searching for but unable to find. 

The older male smiled with a nod, “I always will be.” The words made his toes curl, goosebumps raising all across his skin. 

They went back to sitting in the silence, but as they did, Eric let his hand slide into Juyeon’s, lacing their fingers together. He felt the same as in his dream then. _Safe_. It was warmth and security that radiated through Juyeon’s hand and Eric found he never wanted to let go. Gently, he leaned to rest his head on Juyeon’s shoulder. For the first time in months since his nightmares started, Eric’s mind felt content, all thoughts and questions faded away. An idyllic sensation flooded through his body as they sat enveloped in the comfort of silence.


	7. In Your Eyes

They stayed like that until the sun started to stream through the white leaves of the Wallows. It felt like Juyeon was meeting Youngjae all over again, but it gave him hope that things were still there, that even in this world they were connected. The stars were still over them, even if he couldn’t see them, drowned out from the city. This place made him miss Taurwen-- the Taurwen where things were lush and green, not the wasteland the Skens had turned it into. 

A stirring from inside took their attention and both of them looked to see Sunwoo and Changmin exiting the second bedroom. Changmin glanced at them, smiling then disappeared from sight. “We should go in.” Juyeon didn’t want to leave, finding that he could be wrapped up in this moment forever. For five years he felt like he was torn in half, gapping from the loss of Youngjae (and Sunwoo). For the first time in half a decade he had all the pieces of himself back together. “Check on Chanhee.” 

Youngjae nodded and they stood, the younger’s hand slipping from his own and he missed the warmth of it already, but didn’t try to hold it again. 

Inside, Changmin and Sunwoo were in the kitchen. Changmin was inspecting the metal contraption, clearly trying to figure out how it worked. “This is supposed to cook food?” He asked, a little in disbelief. 

Sunwoo laughed slightly, “Believe it or not.” He reached out to turn a knob, it made a clicking sound and then fire sparked from it. 

Changmin opened his eyes wide, “And they say this isn’t a magical realm.” He was twisting the knob now, making the fire turn up and down. 

Sunwoo stepped in, moving him away from it, “Okay, okay, that’s enough before you burn down the whole house.” Changmin shadowed Sunwoo as he moved through the kitchen, getting out a pan and whatever food Chanhee had. 

“You stay here, I’ll go check on Chanhee.” Juyeon told him, lightly stroking the side of his face. 

“But--”

“There’s something I need to tell him and… I need to do it alone.” Juyeon stopped him from protesting and Youngjae nodded slowly. 

“I guess I’ll make sure these two don’t destroy anything.” He smiled up at Juyeon and the older’s chest clenched. Even if that bond was back, it wasn’t complete. There were fourteen years of memories that solidified everything between them that were gone. Juyeon wondered if he had made the right choice all those years ago, if he should have listened to Youngjae and let him stay. Maybe things would be different. He’d searched the Moongem for guidance, wanting affirmation on his decision, but his former life wouldn’t guide him in this. This had been something he had to decide for himself, but he felt so lost, trying to find the right path to go down. 

“Smart.” Juyeon told him, leaving the three of them to navigate breakfast. 

This wasn’t something he  _ wanted _ to do, but Juyeon didn’t have another choice. The longer he waited, the harder it would be. Lightly, he knocked on the door before entering. Chanhee’s pink hair dusted across his pillow and sleepily, he opened them, starting to sit up. The druid winced, holding his head. 

“You found us.” Chanhee smiled, “Or I should say, you found  _ Eric.” _ He felt a little exposed. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to find Chanhee and Sunwoo, but Youngjae had been the driving force behind it all. Juyeon was still trying to get used to the fact that Youngjae went by Eric now, making him feel like even more of a different person. 

“Thank you for keeping him safe. I know it wasn’t easy.” Juyeon felt a deep appreciation for the druid, knowing the spells he performed weren’t easily done by his race. Druids dealt with the earth, not the arcane. 

“Well, now that you’re here, I won’t have to work so hard-- and you have an actual sorcerer to do your dirty work for you.” Chanhee teased, smiling slightly at Juyeon, but he couldn’t return it. 

This was what he dreaded. Juyeon had Youngjae back and even Sunwoo and Changmin were back together (even if things were complicated). But Chanhee… he didn’t have the one he had been waiting for and Juyeon couldn’t give him back, didn’t even know if he was still alive. 

“Okay, you’ve given me your gratitude, now where is that big loaf of bread?” Chanhee asked, sitting up more, like he expected Younghoon to make some grand entrance then, but Juyeon’s features just fell. A frown pulled down at the corners of his lips, not wanting to meet Chanhee’s eyes. “What? What is it? Where is he?” A small, panicked tone broke from his lips, hearing the hint of desperation. 

“I… I don’t know where he is.” 

A pause. “W-what do you mean? You were supposed to look out for him!” Chanhee’s voice cracked as he raised it, putting a hand over his mouth, his round eyes starting to well with tears. 

Juyeon moved to sit on the edge of Chanhee’s bed, “I know. I should have been there with him--”

“You  _ left _ him!” Chanhee yelled now, grabbing his pillow and smacking Juyeon with it, making him flinch slightly. “He stayed because you needed him! I left him because you needed me to! All I asked was for you to keep him safe for me.” Another smack with the pillow. “I kept Youngjae safe and you couldn’t even do the same for me!” 

Juyeon felt guilt twisting in his stomach as Chanhee cried and yelled at him. The plants that showered the druids room all seemed to visibly wilt, losing their luster and blooms. “I know, I know what I promised.” Juyeon told him, trying to wrestle the pillow out of his grasp. “And I’m sorry-- you don’t know how sorry I am. Younghoon was my friend too.” He was able to take the pillow, but it just left room for Chanhee to hit him in the chest and Juyeon just took it. 

“He was my  _ everything _ . You-- you have Youngjae, but what do I have now?” His eyes were puffy and red from his tears as his lower lip quivered as he spoke to Juyeon. 

Juyeon didn’t have a response, no words that he knew that could comfort Chanhee. Again fighting with him, he worked to pull Chanhee against him and finally the druid relented, collapsing against him as his body wracked with sobs, balling his fists into Juyeon’s shirt and clutching him tightly. “I’m so sorry.” He continued to whisper to Chanhee while he cried, running his hand up and down the pink haired boy’s back, trying to get him to calm down, but he continued to shake with his tears.

* * *

**_mourn_ **

**_/môrn/ verb_ **

**_feel regret or sadness about (the loss or disappearance of something)._ **

* * *

Chanhee hardly left his room for four days. Eric continued to check on him, but he never seemed interested in company. All of them had heard him yelling at Juyeon and Changmin had filled them in on the details; that Younghoon had been lost in the war several months ago and no one had seen any traces of him since. The sorcerer had been in several of Eric’s dreams, but he was always just in the background, never someone he explicitly conversed with. 

Even if no one said it, Eric could connect the dots. Without Younghoon-- the one who put this spell on him-- he’d never get his memories back, he’d never become who he once was. The weight of that hadn’t fully sunk in yet and he was still trying to figure out how he felt about it. Without them could he be who Juyeon needed him to be? 

They all stayed in Chanhee’s home where it was safe for those four days, but Changmin kept hinting at the Skens getting closer, zeroing in on their location. Juyeon always shut him down when he would talk about it, saying he was working on something. The lycan and his familiar talked a lot in private, leaving him out of whatever discussions they were having. 

It was late into the evening on the fourth day of Chanhee’s solitude that the druid came out. All of his plants were still wilted, conveying Chanhee’s emotions. He didn’t say anything, but went to put a kettle of water on the stove for tea. Eric and Changmin watched him from where they sat on the couch. Eric managed to find a deck of cards and was trying to teach Changmin how to play Godori, but they both paused, looking up at Chanhee, seeing him walk over with a soft blanket wrapped around his shoulders. His eyes were puffy and he sniffled as he came, sat down and curled up on the armchair across from them. 

“Do you want some tea when the water’s hot?” He asked, looking at them with a soft smile. 

Eric nodded, his own smile breaking across his face, happy to see that Chanhee was at least coming out of his room. “That sounds great.” Eric looked down at the cards in his hands, “Do you want to play with us?” 

Another sniffle from Chanhee but then he nodded, “That would be nice.” 

The three of them played a few rounds of Godori, Eric happy to see Chanhee smile a few times during it. Maybe things would turn out okay, he thought. He couldn’t imagine what Chanhee felt losing someone he loved, but it made him wonder if Juyeon felt similarly. He’d lost Youngjae in some ways, and Eric felt like some pathetic replica of him, someone that couldn’t live up to whatever Juyeon felt for him. 

Eventually, Juyeon and Sunwoo came to join them from their talk outside in the courtyard. Sunwoo sat on the arm of the chair closest to Changmin and Juyeon squeezed in next to Eric. Softly, Juyeon ended up helping him to sit in the lycan’s lap and he tried to focus on the card game and not his burning skin. Since their moment in the back, they hadn’t really  _ spoken _ further about things between them, but they touched more, in a way that Eric had never done before. It was usually soft caresses against his cheek or Juyeon would put his hand up high on his thigh, making his breathing skyrocket. 

_ This _ was new, sitting in his lap, but Juyeon seemed to do it so effortlessly and no one seemed to pay much attention to it as the game continued. Sunwoo eventually jumped in to play as well, but Juyeon seemed content to just watch. It was a quiet night and it gave Eric hope that things would be okay, even if the Skens were hardly a threat he’d forgotten about. 

Eric yawned eventually, feeling how late it was and how heavy his eyelids were. He leaned back slightly against Juyeon, sitting out the final round and just letting Changmin, Sunwoo, and Chanhee play. He was certain he could fall asleep like this, especially as Juyeon’s hand idly stroke his side, down to his hip and back up. And just like that, leaned back against Juyeon, he did fall asleep. 

He awoke to movement, vaguely aware that he was being carried and he blinked up as Juyeon was laying him down onto a soft bed that smelled of mint and lavender. “You can sleep with Chanhee tonight.” Juyeon told him, stroking the side of his face. Since he’d gotten there he’d spent almost every night on the couch, liking that he could keep the light on and read without bothering anyone. Juyeon continued to sleep in the armchair, but now he was supposed to sleep with Chanhee?

“Why?” He asked with a yawn. 

“I don’t want to be alone… is that okay?” It was Chanhee who spoke up, seeing him get into bed beside him, his sad little face looking down at him. 

“Yeah, of course that’s okay.” He said, still tired, but then looked up at Juyeon. “Where will you sleep?” He had come to like having Juyeon close to him when he slept, like there was someone watching over him. 

Lightly, Juyeon stroked the side of Eric’s face. “I’ll just be out on the couch. If you need anything you can come get me.” Eric nodded, watching Juyeon as he leaned down and for a fraction of a moment he thought Juyeon was going to kiss him, but he simply pressed his lips to Eric’s forehead. “Good night, Youngjae.” 

“Goodnight, Juyeon.” He echoed. The lycan was the only one he hadn’t corrected, hadn’t asked to call him Eric. Having Juyeon call him Youngjae felt so intimate, like a tie Juyeon had to him and he couldn’t bring himself to ask the older to refrain from calling him it.

* * *

**_har·row·ing_ **

**_/ˈherōiNG/ adjective_ **

**_acutely distressing._ **

* * *

_ Five Months Ago _

_ “We’ve lost all of Genwick.” Juyeon told his war council, all of them sitting around the hologram Changmin displayed from his runic tablet. “If we don’t keep control of Harr Tower, we’ll lose the entire western half of Taurwen.” The war officials from all across Taurwen gathered here, trying to come up with a strategy to push back on the Skens forces.  _

_ “We’re losing the war because you keep a spy in your midst.” One of the generals with a grizzly scar across his face spat, looking directly at Changmin. The sken balked, looking to Juyeon for some sort of guidance.  _

_ Juyeon glowered at the man slightly, “Changmin has served the Son royal family since he was a child.” Juyeon defended, knowing Changmin’s loyalty.  _

_ “Clearly not before he devoured a familiar though-- he may try to wear a different skin, but we all know what he really is.” The general glared at Changmin and the sken cowered slightly, bowing his head.  _

_ “That’s enough, Dongchan.” It wasn’t Juyeon that spoke up this time though, but Younghoon. “Changmin poses no threat to our cause. He’s done nothing but aid us in our endeavors. His past is not who he is now.” Younghoon gave Changmin a small smile before looking back at the council, “Now if we’re done attacking our own-- Juyeon and I can lead an attack here.” He pointed to the long, winding woods that were just before Harr Tower. “They’ll try and come from the cover of the woods, but I know these woods well. We can take their army here and gain the upperhand.”  _

_ Juyeon nodded, agreeing with his friend’s plan. “We’ll take a small force, enough to combat their numbers, but small enough to remain undetected.” Everyone seemed to be in agreement and it was decided that the forces would leave at dusk.  _

_ “I should go.” Changmin told Juyeon in private while he was readying to head out. “I’m of more use to you out there than I am here.”  _

_ It wasn’t that Juyeon didn’t agree with him wholeheartedly, but in some ways, Changmin was the closest piece of Youngjae he had left. If he just let him on the front lines, he could lose that as well. “I’m sorry, Changmin, but… I can’t.” Was all the explanation he was willing to give.  _

_ The sken’s usually dimpled smile fell, seeing obvious disappointment there. “I want to protect Taurwen too, you know. I want to be able to see Youngjae, Sunwoo, and Chanhee again just as much as you.” Juyeon doubted that it was  _ just as much _ as him, but he didn’t voice this. He turned over to look down at Changmin.  _

_ “I’m sorry,” He apologized again, “But I’m not changing my mind.”  _

_ At dusk, the forces Younghoon and Juyeon picked out left. Changmin was there to send them off, still a diligent companion and ally to Juyeon even when he didn’t agree with his choices. The travels to the Wisping Woods was easily cut in half as most of his men were lycans, transforming into their lupine form, feet beating down on the ground as they ran. Sorcerers in their company had their own means of fast traveling.  _

_ Once outside of the forest, their army of twenty stopped, looking into the ominous forest. Juyeon could remember traveling through the intricate trails as a child with his father, learning to hunt. Now, the druids had all abandoned their once lush forest and it withered without its keepers. Behind them, in the distance, was Harr Tower, a tactical point where they had an outpost, able to see all of the lands beyond the Wisping Woods. Losing this point would mean they’d be forced to retreat from their current base and it would be more territory for the Skens to destroy.  _

_ “How do you know this place so well?” Juyeon asked as they stopped outside of it, looking to Younghoon.  _

_ Younghoon smiled slightly, “This is where I first met Chanhee. I walked these woods many times with him.” His gaze seemed far off, caught in the memories of the past. Juyeon knew that gaze well considering he bore it often too.  _

_ Wordlessly, he nodded in response, allowing the sorcerer to take the lead as their forces entered the abyss of harrowing trees. Inside it was still, no sound of the leaves whispering against each other or the woodland creatures dashing through the grass. It was just…  _ silent _. They branched out, Younghoon assuring them this would be the way the Skens would come through. Behind the shadows of the woods, their men laid in wait.  _

_ The only thing Juyeon could hear was the beating of his own heart drumming in his ears. His breath was steady, waiting with the rest of his company. For what seemed like hours they stood there until finally there was the hard, earth shaking sound similar to a stampede. It started off faint in the distance and then grew louder as the Skens approached. In the dark, his eyes found Younghoon, seeing how he was starting casting a spell, how the light glowed in his hands.  _

_ The horde shook the ground, hearing the rocks on the ground start to rattle. Juyeon could smell them from here, hear their panted breathing. It wasn’t his call they were waiting on though, Younghoon would make the first move. An intense silver light burst from his hands, creating a barrier just as the dozens and dozens of Skens barreled towards them. Those in the front lines hit the barrier with a hard, sickening crack, like they were breaking bones against the seemingly impenetrable force.  _

_ The shield dropped and with it, Juyeon and his fellow lycans attacked.  _

_ What ensued was a dance of carnage and gore. Each Sken Juyeon took down was one step closer to getting Youngjae back. That’s how he rationalized the death he involved upon them. Even if they were his enemy…  _ killing _ wasn’t something he took lightly and it all was for the bigger picture. For Taruwen. For Youngjae. For their future.  _

_ By the time those remaining Skens retreated, Juyeon’s own numbers suffered. His body felt like it was in pieces, open wounds oozing blood, but at least he was alive. He looked around at those still standing, seeing that there were a handful of his own that fell in the battle. “You were right, Younghoon.” He panted, holding a gaping wound at his side. “Skens don’t know this forest like--” Juyeon spun in a circle, eyes scanning for his friend, but he was nowhere in sight. “Younghoon?” He called, but this time his eyes were cast down on all the bodies littering the ground. “Younghoon!” His voice louder, more frantic. Even though his body screamed in agony, even though his wounds wept, Juyeon entered into a frenzy. He walked through the carcasses, ripping them up off the ground, sifting through each body to try and find the only friend he had left.  _

_ Each overturned body was another stab in the chest, but also a relief. Younghoon wasn’t there, so maybe he was alive. Feverishly, he continued his search, hands and body covered in blood that didn’t belong to him.  _

_ “Juyeon…” Came a small voice from one of his men. “We… we have to go back.” _

_ “No!” He turned on the man, a wild glint to his onyx eyes. “We can’t leave him!” He yelled, continuing to toss bodies aside. He couldn’t fail Younghoon like this, he couldn’t  _ lose _ someone else.  _

  
  


Sweat covered his body as Juyeon was seized from his sleep, sitting up straight on the couch, breathing hard. His dream brought back the memories of when he’d lost Younghoon. Juyeon never found his body and it left a world of questions and speculations on what happened to him. 

He tried to work to calm his breathing, running a hand over his face, but when he opened his eyes, he realized Youngjae had been standing there watching him. Wordlessly, the male stood there, his eyebrows pulled together in concern. 

“You have nightmares too?” Youngjae asked softly, like he was trying not to wake the others in the house. “I could feel it-- you were in so much pain, I think. Did something bad happen to you?” 

Juyeon wasn’t sure how he felt about the younger seeing him like this. He stayed silent for a long moment before nodding, “Something bad’s happened to all of us.” Not wanting to make this about him. There were others in this house who had lost even more than him. 

Youngjae approached, “Do you mind if I sleep with you?” He tilted his head to the side slightly as he looked down at him, “Chanhee kicks in his sleep and… maybe we can help each other keep the nightmares away.” He smiled down at Juyeon and it brought a heat sparking through his chest. 

“I’d like that.” And he moved to lay on his side, pressing into the back of the couch, allowing Youngjae room to mold his back against him. Hesitantly, Juyeon wrapped an arm around his waist, keeping him close and Youngjae placed his hand over Juyeon’s. With Youngjae so close, he could smell his skin, smell his hair and somehow, all of  _ him _ smelled just like he remembered, just like the warm breezes through Taurwen with the hint of the trees and grass blowing through them. 

Both of them laid there saying nothing for a long time, but neither fell asleep. It was a different kind of relaxation and Juyeon didn’t want to close his eyes and miss any of it. If there was one thing losing Younghoon taught him, it was that he can lose a person in an instant and all he’s left with are the memories. Juyeon thought about that through most of the night.  _ Memories _ . And all of the memories Youngjae would never get back...


	8. Always With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long and it's very short! I have been busy with life and work, but here is the new chapter finally! I am working on the next chapter! It will likely be pretty lengthy because things are starting to build and come together. I love to hear everyone's feed back, so please let me know what you think about everything!

_“Let me guide you… let me guide you… let me guide you...” A woman coaxed him, voice unfamiliar, but enchanting._

_Bare feet beat against the cold, damp grass as he chased the source. “Wait! I can’t find you!” He called, hearing how heavily his breathing was, frantically chasing the woman through a winding wood._

_“Let me guide you…” She continued, her sound melodic, hearing it before._

_“Please slow down!” Branches slapped against his skin as he pushed his way through, seeing a shining light up ahead, trying desperately to follow it. All he knew was that he couldn’t lose it, no matter how hard his heart pounded or the welts forming on his arms from the branches. “I can’t lose you!”_

_This time, it wasn’t her singing that responded, but a far off echo, sounding like Juyeon. “Nothing is ever lost…”_

_“But… I’m lost!” Eric called, the light growing more and more faint as he chased it, searching for that singing once more._

_“I’m your light…” His ears could barely pick up the tune, tears pricking his eyes as he wove in and out of the lush forest._

_Warm liquid covered his arms from the harsh wicker of branches continually tearing into his flesh and he wiped at his wet eyes. “I need you!” His voice cracked and then the light up ahead disappeared from sight, making him scream with tears in his eyes. “No, come back!” Still, he ran through the forest. “Come back, please! Please!” Eric ran until his feet ached, until his eyes were dry and his voice hoarse from screaming for the woman to come back. He didn’t know who the woman was nor why he wanted her so badly, but it felt like a lifeline, like the thing he needed to piece all of this together._

_The boy collapsed into the grass, chest heaving, the stars sparking through the trees, casting their shimmering light down on him. “Come back…” He whispered as he looked up at them, eyes slowly closing from exhaustion and the world went black._

_“Youngjae…” It was a male’s voice this time, saying his name softly. “Open your eyes Youngjae.” And slowly, he did just that. He was met with the soft, round hooded eyes of a ghost, his being shrouded in what looked like starlight behind him. His dark hair parted off his forehead as he looked down at him, “Come to me.” Even though the male stood right before him, his voice echoed like it was traveling towards him. “I can help you.... Find me.”_

_Slowly, he sat up, able to feel the ache across his entire body. “Where do I find you?” His own voice echoed, being carried back to this stranger. “How do I find you?”_

_“You have all the answers-- I’ve given them to you.”_

_“I-- I don’t understand!” His arms were caked in his own blood, dried against his skin and it hurt as he pushed himself to his feet. As Eric took a step forward, the ghost moved back. Frantically, he tried to run towards him, but he stayed the same distance away. “Please, I need more!”_

_“No you don’t, you have the answers.”_

_Eric shook his head, “I’m not… I’m not who you think I am. I’ve lost all of that.”_

_“Nothing is ever lost, Youngjae. Find me so I can help you.”_

_Eric looked around him, looked at where they were. The forest wasn’t familiar, wasn’t somewhere he had even been in his dreams. “How can you help me?” But the male started to fade away, just like the woman’s voice had. “No! Please don’t go! I don’t know what you mean! Please!” His voice felt raw and he tried to chase him, to close the impossible gap between them. “Younghoon!” The name came off his lips like a forgotten memory etched back across his mind, recalling the ghost’s face in his dreams and he tried to catch up to him again. “Younghoon please don’t leave! Tell me how to find you!”_

* * *

**_e·piph·a·ny_ **

**_/əˈpifənē/ noun_ **

**_a manifestation of a divine or supernatural being._ **

**_a moment of sudden revelation or insight._ **

* * *

“Eric, wake up.” A voice called to him, shaking him lightly, pulling him from his dream. Eric gasped, like he was coming up for water. His body was covered in sweat, his skin sticking to his blanket as his heavy eyes shot open, trying to adjust to his surroundings. This dream had been unlike any he’d had before, not at all like a memory, but something else entirely. “It’s just a dream, Eric.” It was Juyeon’s voice there with him, talking him down, feeling his hand smooth along his shoulders, trying to ease the tension there. 

“I… I was with Younghoon.” He looked over at Juyeon, his eyes wide. “I… I know where he is.” 

Eric realized then that Juyeon wasn’t the only one in the room looking at him, but everyone was there surrounding the couch. It made him wonder just how lost in his dream he had been. It was Chanhee that he found first though, seeing the druid’s curious and possibly even hopeful expression. “What do you mean?” Juyeon asked, skepticism etched into his voice. 

“He… he _came_ to me. I think… I think he’s been the one giving me all of these dreams. I… I don’t know what it means, but I think it’s like a map to him and… something else?” Eric wasn’t entirely sure about all of it, wasn’t sure about what all of it meant or where he could really find him, but… if he was right, he was the only one who could find the sorcerer. “I think he gave me the last clue…” This dream was different than the rest, but the woman he had been chasing, she felt like some missing piece to it all. 

“How do we find him?” Chanhee spoke up softly, his arms wrapped around himself. He still held an uncannily sorrowful expression across his features, but maybe there was a hint of light in it now. 

“We have to go to Taurwen.”


	9. Who Am I

“No way.” Sunwoo was the one to break the silence that blanketed the room. “There’s nothing there. Whatever Skens haven’t gone here for us are probably destroying all that’s left of Taurwen.” No one else seemed capable of words as the four sets of eyes continued to watch Eric, like they were waiting for him to say it was all just a joke. 

Except, it wasn’t. Eric felt this in his  _ bones _ , possibly even deeper than that. It was cemented into his being, knowing this was the right thing. Younghoon was telling him to go back to Taurwen. Even if he couldn’t understand why or explain everything, he  _ felt _ it. Shouldn’t that be enough? 

“Come on, anyone?” Sunwoo spoke yet again, looking at the others to support him. No one met his eyes, except Eric. “We can’t consider this, think about what’s at risk if we go back-- if we take  _ him _ back.” He flailed his arms as he motioned to Eric, urging the others to back him. 

Eric looked to the others as well, wanting them to side with him, to understand that something important lays back for him on Taurwen, something that can help. Something that  _ Eric _ can help with. “I--” He paused, struggling to find his voice for a moment, “I don’t care about the risks-- I know this is important. Younghoon has been guiding me towards something this whole time and I have to find out what that is.” His voice didn’t waiver, wanting to come across as strong and assured of himself. 

His eyes were mainly focused on Juyeon, realizing that he was the one who needed to be convinced, regardless of what Sunwoo said. Except, Juyeon wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were far off, gaze looking instead of at Eric, at the window, he seemed so focused, as if he hadn’t even listened to a word he said. 

“Juyeon.” Eric spoke his name, annoyed. “We’re going back.” 

Still those narrowing, piercing eyes didn’t look at him, he sat up so erect, reminding Eric of an alert dog with it’s ears perked up. 

“Juyeon…?” Eric’s voice was softer this time, concerned. Everyone picked up on Juyeon, making Sunwoo also petrify with vigilance. 

“They’re here.” Juyeon said suddenly, looking at Eric and just before the ceiling came crashing down, Juyeon lurched, knocking Eric to the ground. Inhuman screeches sounded as the shanty Chanhee called home started to crumble, the reptilian beasts Eric came to know as Skens flooding the home. Where there was once a human above, Juyeon was replaced with an impossibly large wolf, shielding him from the debris. 

Eric was still trying to catch his breath, his head spinning, feeling like whatever safety they had was gone now. As quickly as Juyeon had shielded him, the wolf lunged at one of the closest Skens. Eric tried to regain himself, but he gasped for air, sitting up, hands shaking. It was Chanhee that grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet. 

“Come on, prince, we have to leave!” Chanhee shouted over the screeching and growling. There was a bear now that was in the frey of it, holding the line between them and the Skens. 

Eric yanked his arm from Chanhee’s grip, “We can’t leave them! There’s too many of them!” He protested, eyes darting to where Juyeon and Sunwoo fought off the hive. 

“If we don’t leave  _ you’ll _ die!” Chanhee argued, again grabbing at Eric’s arm. “What help will you be here?”

Eric hated to admit it, but he was seemingly useless, without any powers or shapeshifting abilities to aid them. But did that mean the only option was to abandon them? “But--”

“Now!” Chanhee didn’t give him room to argue further in the frey of chaos. 

Eric whimpered before obliging. He could see that Changmin was gearing up to join in the fight, but a loud growl sounded. Somehow it seemed Changmin understood the animalistic order and instead of joining Sunwoo and Juyeon, he ran out of the crumbling house with them. Chanhee kept a tight grip on his arm, as if he didn’t trust that Eric wouldn’t go running back in. His eyes pricked with tears, with the uncertainty of if he would ever see Juyeon again. The days they had weren’t enough, knowing there was still so much missing and so much more he needed from the lycan. With his free hand, he wiped at his tears. His feet beat hard against the pavement, Changmin on his other side. 

They wove through the narrow streets, but Eric could hear the thunderous clatter behind them, the sound of Skens on their trail. Eric dared a glance over his shoulder, seeing the reptile-humanoid creatures tearing through the buildings and streets, how walls crumbled as they smashed into the structures. 

“Faster!” Changmin spoke up this time, but Eric didn’t see how he could go any faster than he already was. Still, he pumped his arms, facing forward once more. 

As they ran, Chanhee’s hand glowed with a green light, creating a brilliant ball of energy in his palm that he hastily threw behind him. The orb hit a building, expanding and exploding, causing the path behind them to crumble, brick and rubble from the buildings eating away the street they came from, caving it in. It gave them time to run, to create distance between them and their pursuers. 

Even still, Eric’s feet didn’t let up, they met the pavement with heavy, hard impacts, pushing himself forward as fast as he could. The narrow streets opened up into the expansive city, bustling with people. Except, they weren’t all consumed in their own worlds, all eyes were drawn towards the direction Eric and his companions had just come from. People gasped, looking at the dust and noises that they came from. Eric didn’t have time to catch his breath as his arm jerked in the direction Chanhee pulled him, unaware that such a dainty boy could possess so much strength. 

Wherever Chanhee was taking them, he didn’t have the opportunity to ask, but he trusted the druid… didn’t he? At this point, he wasn’t sure he had much choice as they pushed through the crowds of people, weaving in and out. Eric knew when the Skens had broken through to the city streets because of the panic that broke out, the screams swirling through the air. 

In the chaos of it all, Chanhee’s grip on his arm severed, getting lost in the sea of people. Eric tried to push back against all of the people, but it felt like running into a brick ball except that wall pushed back, knocking him to the ground. Eric covered his head as people stampeded, waiting for an opening to get back on his feet. 

“Youngjae!” A voice rang out, but Eric couldn’t find his own voice to call back, to tell whoever it was that he was drowning. 

A strong hand grabbed him up, combatting the crowd and he looked up to see Juyeon. “You-- you’re okay.” Eric breathed breathlessly. 

“Go with Chanhee and Changmin, I’ll find you.” He promised, but Eric didn’t want to let go, his hands a vice on Juyeon’s forearm. “Youngjae, I have to go-- to make sure you stay safe.” Juyeon cupped Eric’s face with both hands, his gaze intense and Eric didn’t want to look away. He wanted to memorize his features so he would never forget it again. 

“Promise-- promise it won’t be like before. Promise you’ll find me.” Eric asked, desperately. 

“I promise, little pup.” 

Without warning, Eric felt the warmth of Juyeon’s lips against his own. The heat he felt when Juyeon touched him intensified, every part of him burning, but he wanted to be encapsulated in the flames of the lycan’s heat. Even if Eric had never kissed anyone before, his body seemed so familiar with this, as if they had done it for lifetimes. His arms wrapped around Juyeon’s neck, wanting him to stay close, to continue to taste his lips and tongue, feeling how easily their mouths slotted into each other. 

Someone knocked into Eric’s shoulder, pushing him into Juyeon, bringing them out of the kiss. He could still feel the ghost of Juyeon’s lips on his own as he looked up at him. Juyeon looked behind him now and Eric turned to see Chanhee and Changmin. 

“Don’t let go of him this time.” Juyeon warned almost as he looked at Chanhee, feeling the druid’s grip on his bicep return tightly and his fingers uncurled from Juyeon as they were back to running away from the Skens. 

* * *

**_home·ward_ **

**_/ˈhōmwərd/ adjective_ **

**_going or leading toward home._ **

* * *

“I… I’ve never been here before. Where are we going?” Eric asked after they finally stopped running. They weren’t in the city anymore, he didn’t think, but somewhere just outside of it. Changmin was quiet the entire time and he had questions for him, knowing he was a Sken, but he didn’t  _ look _ like a Sken, nor did he behave like one. There was also the matter of Sunwoo, remembering how reluctant the familiar had been to talk about Changmin. What was between them? 

Those were questions for another time, though. Eric’s mind still raced, worried about Juyeon and Sunwoo, anxious about when he would see them, but more importantly he needed to find out what they were going to do. 

“Clearly I can’t keep us safe, my magic isn’t powerful enough-- I’m no sorcerer.” Chanhee explained and Eric already had some idea about  _ who _ they were going to see. 

Eric’s eyebrow furrowed, “Are we really going to that sorcerer again? After what he did to Sunwoo, can we actually trust him? He just  _ left _ us to  _ die _ .” He explained, his voice cracking, forcing him to clear his throat. 

“Sorry, Prince, but we don’t have very many options at this point.”

Still, Eric didn’t like it, but kept quiet as they walked through the deserted streets to the end of the street where a lavish house rested atop a hill. At least it seemed like the type of place where Hwall would live judging from their only encounter. “Was he this pompous on Taurwen?” Eric asked as they stopped outside of the gate surrounding the property. 

“Even worse.” Chanhee giggled, pressing the buzzer on the gate. 

Eric rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, anxious to feel some sort of security, that they weren’t going to be devoured by Skens. Finally, a voice sounded through the intercom, “Oh god, didn’t I get rid of you already?” Hwall groaned, “What do you want?” 

“More or less,  _ you _ .” Chanhee cut to the chase, “We need a sorcerer.” 

A voice didn’t play through the box this time, but Hwall materialized in front of them on the other side of the gate, looking at the three of them. He crossed his arms over his chest, wearing a goddy fur coat and excessive amounts of jewelry. “And you think I’ll help you? You don’t even have a familiar to bargain with.” He chuckled, then looked over at Changmin and visibly turned his nose up. “ _ And _ you brought this Sken.” 

Changmin furrowed his brows, “The  _ actual _ Skens are here and if you don’t help us, they’ll take this nice little life you made for yourself in this world.” 

Hwall shrugged, “I don’t know about  _ that _ . I’m sure I could strike a bargain with them-- the prince for them to leave this world.” 

Eric balked slightly, not liking that Hwall was even  _ joking _ about something like that (though, he wasn’t entirely sure it was a joke or not). “Listen,” Eric spoke up, stepping closer to the bars between them. “I’m Prince of Taurwen, you claim to like this life you built for yourself here, but on Taurwen you had it even better before you were exiled, didn’t you?” Eric cocked an eyebrow, hoping he was intriguing the sorcerer. “I can give you that back…  _ if _ you help us. A pardon, if you will.” Though Eric wasn’t entirely sure what all Hwall did to be exiled, surely this would make up for it. 

Judging from the grimaces on Changmin and Chanhee’s faces, it wouldn’t, but he’d deal with that later. 

Hwall tapped his chin, visibly thinking the offer over. “I want a position of power amongst the sorcerers-- a seat on the council.” 

“Wait--” Chanhee tried to chirp in, but Eric was already speaking. 

“Done.” He told him firmly, eyeing him closely. 

“Prince, you don’t--”

“I’ll give you what you want, but you need to give me what I want.” Eric wagered, stretching his hand through the bars. “Do we have a deal?” 

Hwall hesitated, still thinking it over before finally he outstretched his hand. Their hands clasped and as they did, Eric and his companions were teleported inside of the lavish house they had just been outside of. The decorations were orante, golds, reds, and blacks. Hwall wasn’t standing in front of them anymore, but perched on a large throne-like chair, his legs crossed as he looked at them. 

“So, prince, what is it you need from me?” A smirked pulling at his lips, his gaze looking to the Sken and druid. Clearly he felt as if he had won some sort of game. 

“You can start by keeping us hidden from the Skens.” Eric wasn’t actually sure if that was something sorcerers could do, but the way Chanhee spoke about magic and his own abilities in it, it  _ should _ be something Hwall was capable of. 

“Done.” Hwall snapped his fingers, a gold spark producing from it. It seemed much easier when Hwall did it than when Chanhee did anything magic, but from what he understood druids could never be as powerful magically as sorcerers. Hwall leaned forward in his chair, narrowing his eyes at Eric, “There’s something else you want too though, isn’t there? Go on, spit it out, prince.” 

Eric didn’t like feeling like he was under a microscope, making him squirm. Both Chanhee and Changmin looked at Eric, curious about what else he wanted to ask for. His own eyes darted to look at Chanhee for a moment before he spoke up, “Can… can you find someone?” 

Hwall settled back into his chair, shrugging, “Depends.”

Eric waited for him to follow up, but he didn’t and he sighed exasperatedly. “Depends on what?” 

“Well, who is it you’re looking for?” 

Again, Eric looked over at Chanhee, then back and Hwall, swallowing. “His name is Younghoon.” As soon as the name left Eric’s lips, Hwall’s features fell, a frown replacing his usual devious smirk. 

“Absolutely not.” The playful lilt to Hwall’s tone diminished and left with an icy edge. 

Eric’s eyebrows furrowed, confused and a little insulted. “We had an agreement!” He protested, taking a step closer to the sorcerer. 

It was Chanhee that spoke up next, “Hwall, put your childish disagreements aside. Younghoon is the only one who can help the Prince.” Eric turned to look over at Chanhee, surprised to see that Chanhee seemed to be the one that was on his side from his earlier conversation with the group. Then again, the druid probably wanted Younghoon the most out of everyone. 

Hwall scoffed under his breath, “ _ ‘Childish disagreements’ _ , hmm? You would call it that considering who you sided with.” Eric didn’t understand what exactly was the rift between Hwall and Younghoon, but he didn’t know if he wanted to waste time delving into the root of it. 

“Oh, please.” Chanhee rolled his eyes, his hand going to his hip as he hopped it out slightly. “There were no sides, you created that delusion.” 

Before they could go deeper down this rabbit hole, Eric spoke up, “Whatever happened, it’s in the past.” He urged, looking between the two males. “What we need to focus on is the future-- all of our futures.” Never one for pep talks or motivational speeches, Eric did his best to try and persuade the sorcerer, looking back up at him. “Younghoon is at the center of it all and I need to find him. I… I don’t know why exactly, but whatever I am missing is the key to all of this-- maybe the key to stopping the Skens, so…  _ please _ , Hwall. I need your help.” Eric looked up at him, eyes wide, pleading with the sorcerer. 

Hwall looked down at him, his eyes narrowed, reminding him of a scheming cat. Eric waited with baited breath for his reply. “I do this for you, but not for Younghoon.” 

A smile pulled up at the corners of Eric’s lips, the first good news he had, the first step towards finding the answer he sought. If he focused on this, he didn’t have to worry about Juyeon, worry about whether or not he would return or how he would find him. 

“I’ll need some time, locating people in different worlds is tricky-- you might want to get sleep for whatever is to come.” It seemed cryptic, but Eric knew he was right. Finding Younghoon was just the first step,  _ getting to him _ would be something different entirely. 

* * *

**_jour·ney_ **

**_/ˈjərnē/ noun_ **

**_an act of traveling from one place to another._ **

* * *

_“Prince?”_ _A voice called to him, hesitant and small._

_ Youngjae turned, smiling at the familiar dimpled face of Changmin. “You know, you don’t  _ have _ to call me Prince all the time. It seems rather silly now.” He corrected the Sken, walking away from where he stood looking out over the scenery.  _

_ “I know, it’s just…” Changmin shrugged, “It’s not my place to forego formalities.”  _

_ Youngjae chuckled, “And why is that, exactly?” Quirking an eyebrow.  _

_ “I mean, considering what I am.”  _

_ Youngjae frowned, “And what exactly is that? You’re my most trusted friend, Changmin.” The young prince raised his palm, offering it to Changmin, an intimate embrace. Something done with those lycans bond closest with, family, familiars, soulmates.  _

_ Changmin blinked at it, taken aback, “Pri-- Youngjae, I don’t know…”  _

_ “What’s the matter?” Youngjae asked, tilting his head to the side, lower lip pouting slightly. “Mother always said bonds are what guide us-- people take us where we need to go, memories,  _ feelings _. This feeling… I am letting it guide me.”  _

_ Changmin looked down at his feet for a moment. “I… I can’t bond like  _ that _. I may look like a familiar and possess their powers, but I’m not one. I… I can’t be yours.”  _

_ Youngjae took a step forward, lifting his friend’s chin. “Says who?”  _

_ “It won’t be real.” Changmin still tried to argue.  _

_ “It will be real to  _ me. _ ”  _

_ Slowly, Changmin raised his palm, pressing it flush against Youngjae’s. A warmth spread there. Comforting and secure. Even if Youngjae’s family had all perished, he knew this feeling, knew the closeness of this bond. While slightly different from that of his family’s, it felt like he was knitting his soul together with Changmin. Different from Juyeon but nearly as important.  _

_ The scene began to fade, like he was losing focus on it, seeping into a world between worlds. Eric felt half conscious; couscous of the memory that encased him that morphed into something else. Similar to his dream of Younghoon before. His own body materialized, barefeet sunk into the mud of the earth.  _

_ He looked down at his toes, seeing the brown muck squishing up between his toes. “Find me… find me… find me… find me…” A voice called, far away, echoing off the trees that encased him.  _

_ Panic jumped up his throat, making it hard to breathe. The uncertainty of how to do what the voice asked him loomed like a dark cloud. “How?” He screamed into the infinite forest, no end in sight. He tried to pull his feet from the mud, but they were cemented, it felt like, glued in the thick goo.  _

_ “You already know.” Except it wasn’t Younghoon’s voice he realized, it was a willowy, feminine sound, bouncing off the trees, making it impossible to distinguish which direction it came from.  _

_ Eric shook his head, trying to wrench his feet free of the mud. “I don’t! Please, tell me more!” He pleaded with the mysterious voice.  _

_ “You have all the pieces now…” She promised, her voice whispering in his ear, able to feel the tickle of her breath against his neck, but as he turned in that direction, no one was there.  _

_ Still, he didn’t understand. “No, I don’t! There has to be something else-- something more. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be!”  _

_ “Of course you do… you always have.”  _

_ Frantically, Eric swiveled his head in every direction, trying to find the voice. “Wait! Please, I need your help, I don’t understand!” He called out into the forest, his voice bouncing back to him as it echoed through the empty forest.  _

_ There was a long pause, a silence that blanketed him and all the trees. Tears rolled down his cheeks, frustrated that he didn’t understand that whatever clues he’d been given couldn’t arrange themselves to make a picture.  _

_ “I’m… I’m not Youngjae…” He quietly sobbed, burying his face in his hands. “I can’t find you…” His voice was small and broken. The only sound encasing the emptiness was his whimpered sobs, muffled into the palms of his hands.  _

_ “Eric.” For the first time a voice saying  _ his _ name.  _

_ Eric’s head snapped up, looking in front of him. Just out of reach stood Younghoon, his form covered in shadows and he looked at him blankly before speaking. “I’m with  _ her _.” And then he felt himself falling into a darkness, unable to ask more.  _


	10. All The Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I hope it was worth the wait!!

Eric jolted up for his sleep, reorienting himself. His stomach still felt like it had sunk to his feet from the feeling of falling and he clutched his chest, blinking. His head spun, trying to collect his thoughts, to process all he had seen.  _ Her _ . Who was  _ her _ and what did she have to do with him and Younghoon? 

He sat in the dark, aware of the loneliness he felt in one of Hwall’s guest bedrooms. Juyeon wasn’t back, knowing if he was, he’d be in here with him, likely sitting in the chair across the room, but it was empty. Changmin and Chanhee slept in different rooms, now making Eric wish he’d taken the druid up on his offer to sleep together. 

Slowly, he pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his cheek on them. Nothing made sense. He thought over the pieces he had, every distinct memory Younghoon had seemingly given him, every glimpse into his own past. “What does it mean?” He whispered to himself in the dark, squeezing his legs tighter, wishing he had the answers he sought. 

“Lost, prince?” 

Eric jumped, seeing Hwall’s outline in the dark room, his eyes adjusting to make out some of his cat-like features. After collecting himself, he replied, “N-nothing’s ever lost.” Recalling Juyeon’s words, wanting them to be true, but unable to actually  _ feel _ that way about his current situation. Youngjae felt lost, Eric unable to grasp him, to understand what he was certain his former self would be able to piece together. 

Hwall chuckled, “If only you really believed that.” The sorcerer moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “You sure seem lost to me, or am I barking up the wrong tree, hmm?” He hummed, giving Eric a knowing look that made him turn away, unable to meet the sorcerers eyes. 

A heavy feeling of failure sunk down in his chest, suffocating almost. “I… I don’t know who I’m supposed to be.” His head fell, thinking of Juyeon and Sunwoo, unsure where they were or if they were even alive at this point. If he couldn’t at least find Younghoon, how could he help them? 

“Why do you think you have to be anyone?” Hwall rested a hand on his knee, making Eric look up at him. 

“Who I am now isn’t good enough-- it’s not enough. I have all the pieces, but I don’t have what I need to put them together.” Eric tried to explain, but he wasn’t sure if the sorcerer could understand. He seemed full of tricks, but lacking empathy. 

A silence broke out between them and Eric thought his assumption was correct, that Hwall couldn’t possibly understand the turmoil he felt. Except then there was a shining white light that called Eric’s attention, making him look up at the sphere Hwall cast between his two hands. It was a brilliant white that illuminated the entire room and as Eric looked into the light, it was like a crystal ball, full of visions. “W-what is it?” Eric asked, stumbling slightly on his words as he looked up at Hwall. 

“I think it might be what you’re looking for.” The mischievous lint that usually carried on his voice wasn’t there, but what replaced it seemed so serious. 

Without really  _ knowing _ what to do, his hand instinctively reached out towards the orb, closing his eyes as he touched the cold surface of the white light. It made him jolt, sucking in a rapid breath and then he felt himself get sucked into the sphere itself. 

Everything around him glowed with the same iridescent white light, Eric realizing somehow he was inside of it. He looked around him, seeing the forest that had played over in his dreams, but how it was cast in this light, glimmering. “Hello?” He called out into this new version of his vision. 

The sound drifted into the forest without a reply. Eric frowned, wanting to hear the woman’s voice or Younghoon’s reply, but they didn’t. Instead, he took a step forward, finding that on this plane, he could explore, that he could venture into this unknown forest. “Is anyone here?” He called again, but there was no reply. His feet carried him through the forest, his fingers brushing against the tree limbs, feeling how  _ alive _ they felt against his palm, but as he turned around to look at the path he came from, each tree he had walked past was now dark and dead with decay. 

Eric gasped, looking forward once more, knowing it meant he wasn’t meant to step backwards, that the only path was ahead of him. “Younghoon?” Hesitantly he asked the emptiness. Still nothing called back to him. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of white bounce between the trees. “Hey! Wait up!” He shouted into the forest, picking up his pace to dart after it. He could see the form now as he continued to run. It was wispy like a spirit, but took the form of a wolf, white and glowing. It was nothing like the wolf-like beasts of lycans, but it was an  _ actual _ wolf. Eric continued to chase it weaving in and out of the trees. “Where are you going?” He asked, his feet hitting the grass hard with each step he took. 

Around him, he could see the forest dying, closing in on him and the only living thing remaining was the path the wolf led him to. “Slow down!” Feeling like he was losing the wolf, trying to keep up with it. Then finally, the trees broke, leading him to an opening in the forest, a circle of grass and in the center of it all was a large, circular stone. He tilted his head as he looked at it. The wolf had stopped in front of it, looking up at it, then turning its head to look back at Eric. 

“That… that’s the Moongem, isn’t it?” He asked, recalling it from one of his dreams. Slowly, the wolf nodded its head. “You-- you can understand me?” Except it didn’t respond this time, but the spirit-like wolf lunged forward,  _ into _ the rock and disappearing. “No, wait! Where are--” But then he was alone again. All of the trees around him had turned black with death, but this clearing thrived with life, seeming to emanate from the Moongem. 

Above, the actual moon shone down on the stone, making it glisten. Taking a deep breath, Eric approached the stone, feeling like it called to him. It was a deep feeling that spoke to something buried inside of him. His hand lifted as he closed the distance, readying to press his palm to its surface, but just before he made contact with it, it felt like he was being sucked out of the atmosphere, pulled from this world. 

Suddenly, he was back in the guest bedroom in front of Hwall. The white orb gone from his hands and they were shrouded in darkness. Eric worked to catch his breath, looking up at Hwall, “What… that wasn’t Younghoon.” 

“I know.” Hwall told him simply. “That was all I could find.” 

Eric furrowed his brow, “What’s that mean? Where is he?” 

Hwall shrugged, “I think that’s for you to figure out.” 

He didn’t respond, but instead processed what had just happened, all that he had just seen. “I… I know where I have to go.” 

Not sparing a moment, Eric got out of bed and dressed in an outfit Hwall had given him. It didn’t fit right, the sleeves and pants too long, but he didn’t care about that at the moment. Quietly, he walked into Changmin’s room, it was still dark out and the Sken was still asleep. 

“Changmin.” He whispered as he stood on the side of his bed. 

The Sken awoke with a startle, looking up at him. “Prince, what are you doing? What time is it?” He asked, sitting up in confusion. 

Wordlessly, Eric didn’t reply, but raised his palm for the Sken to take, offering it to him. Changmin looked at it in confusion at first then blinked, “You… you remember?” He asked, still confused. 

Eric simply smiled and nodded, “I’m starting to.” Changmin returned the smile, Eric able to see his dimples come to life on his face and their palms pressed against each other. “Now… I need your help.” He told the Sken with their palms still pressed together. “I think… you’re the only one who can do it?” 

Changmin looked worried, lowering his palm. “What exactly is it…?” Hesitation heavy in his voice. 

“You have to take me back to Taurwen.” 

His friend’s eyes widened, “Oh, no, no, no. I can’t do that, Prince, it--”

“Eric, call me Eric.” He corrected him. 

“Okay,  _ Eric _ , I can’t do that still. I mean, sure, I  _ can _ , but I  _ can’t. _ ” He tried to explain, but Eric narrowed his eyes slightly at him, making the Sken squirm. “No, really, I can’t. Juyeon would never-- Sunwoo would never-- I just can’t.” Changmin seemed a little frantic, clearly not liking to break rules or do anything he ‘wasn’t supposed to’. 

“I get it, I do. You don’t want to get in trouble, but  _ this _ …  _ this _ is how we save them and everyone. I know it.” Eric tried to sway him, “Besides, aren’t you my familiar? Aren’t you supposed to be loyal to me?” 

“Unofficially, yes, but I’m not a  _ real _ familiar. I can’t aid you like an actual familiar can.” Changmin attempted to explain to him. 

“No, but you can do something better, can’t you?” He raised an eyebrow at him, smirking slightly. “You can create a hole between worlds-- Skens can, can’t they? That’s how they all got here and that’s how you and Juyeon got here.” 

Changmin looked very uncomfortable, fidgeting where he sat. “Oh, Prince, this really isn’t a good idea…” 

“I have to help the others-- to help Taurwen and this is how we do it. Are you going to help me or not?” 

* * *

**_her·o·ism_ **

**_/ˈherəˌwizəm/ noun_ **

**_great bravery._ **

* * *

“Fuck, there’s too many of them!” Sunwoo yelled to Juyeon as he shifted out of his bear form. 

Juyeon was out of the wolf-beast lycan form as well, panting. His body ached, feeling the gashes from his fight. One thing he held onto though, his promise to Youngjae. He wouldn’t let their fates be the same from centuries ago. “We just need to divert them.” And hopefully wherever Chanhee took them is safe, safe from the prying eyes of the hive. 

“And then what?” Sunwoo asked, out of breath, a wound weeping down the side of his face, starting somewhere in the red of his hair, matting it against his head. 

“We’ll figure it out.” Was all Juyeon gave him before he was leaping, body morphing into the fur covered wolf-beast. The streets were relatively empty of humans from this world, all of them having run away, but there were some sort of authority figures with flashing lights and weapons drawn. Juyeon wasn’t too concerned about them, but they provided a distraction for the Skens, seeing how the reptilian species screeched at the humans, angered by whatever damage their weapons did to them. 

They flipped over their vehicles, bringing them crashing down. Juyeon let out a roar, trying to grab the attention of the Skens, seeing how the hive averted their attention to him and Sunwoo. Sunwoo now a fox, fast and swift, beginning to run through the destroyed city streets and Juyeon joined him, the Skens on their trail. 

The Skens followed them out of the city, into a more rural landscape. Flying vehicles overhead followed, shooting metal down at them, one clipping Juyeon’s shoulder, slowing him down. Ultimately, it led to another standoff between Juyeon, Sunwoo, and the hive. 

“Get rid of it!” Juyeon called to his familiar, indicating the three flying vehicles in the sky. Sunwoo took the command, changing from a fox into a soaring hawk, ascending into the skies close to the flying vehicles. 

Juyeon’s attention was focused on the horde of Skens, claws and teeth colliding in the heat of battle. It was much like back on Taurwen, realizing that this world was bleeding into his own, possibly becoming a ruin like his own home. His thought didn’t linger on Taurwen for long, zeroed in on the efforts at hand, on keeping the only thing that  _ truly _ mattered safe. 

Except a large beam of light erupted off in the distance, drawing the attention of the entire horde (and Juyeon as well). He knew that sight, knew what it meant. “No…” He breathed, eyed cast up into the sky as the light faded. The Skens knew what it was as well, drawn to it like moths to a flame. “What have you done, Changmin?” He asked the emptiness, seeing how the horde diverted their attention from Juyeon, now heading to where the light had come from. 

* * *

**_des·ti·ny_ **

**_/ˈdestinē/ noun_ **

**_the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate._ **

* * *

“This… this is Taurwen?” Eric asked, shaking from the jumping between worlds, leaving him with a headache. The landscape he finds himself in is nothing like his memories, the terrain destroyed, dark and vibrating with a calm sense of death. “It… it’s all gone…” 

Changmin seems less affected by the jump between worlds, giving Eric a sad, small smile. “Not  _ all _ , but… yes, most of the land you remember is gone. That’s what war does, I guess.” 

Eric paused, turning to face the Sken fully. “And all of this is because of me, isn’t it? This war-- it started because of me?” Still not entirely clear on that, but the pieces Eric has seem to indicate that he’s somehow at the center of all this destruction. 

The Sken takes a moment to respond, looking out across the barren wasteland. “In a way, I suppose, but it’s not your fault.” 

  
Trying not to think about the weight of that, wrestling with the knowledge of this, Eric signs, his eyes closing for a long moment before he opens them once more. “I don’t know what it’s called or where it is, but there was a safe place of some sort that we need to go back to. It had a forest in it and a large stone inside of it. That’s where we have to go-- that’s where I can find Younghoon and…  _ her _ .”


	11. Repeat Until Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a big chapter with a lot of plot, I hope it wasn't too boring!

“What happened?” Juyeon demands after finding the rest of his party which is now only Chanhee and… Hwall? He had many questions about that, but for now they could wait. “The Skens-- they went back to Taurwen. They’re  _ following _ Youngjae!” His anger was evident, feeling how it vibrated through his form. Sunwoo tries to put a comforting hand on his shoulder and he growls in retort, wrenching his body from his familiar’s grip. 

“I… I don’t know what happened, Juyeon. He-- he was here and then he wasn’t. I didn’t think Changmin would do something like this-- actually take him back.” Chanhee tries to defend himself, seeming just as perplexed as the rest of them. 

Juyeon runs a hand through his hair anxiously, turning to look over at Hwall. “Do you know anything about what happened?” He demands and the sorcerer smirks wickedly. 

“Something tells me he does.” Sunwoo concludes, stepping closer to the sorcerer, but Juyeon reaches out to stop the familiar from doing anything rash. 

“Listen Hwall, if you know something, you need to tell us-- this is your Prince--”

Hwall shakes his finger, “If I remember correctly, I was exiled,, so he’s no prince of mine.” He seems to be eating this up, the clear distress all of them are in with the absence of Youngjae. 

“If you value your life, you’ll tell us what you know.” Again, Sunwoo snaps out and Juyeon has to keep him at bay. 

Hwall rolls his eyes at their dramatics, “The Prince and I simply had a little chat about where he can find Younghoon. While I couldn’t find a location, I found  _ something _ and that something seemed to be all our young prince needed. He was off soon after that.” 

“And you didn’t think to stop him?” Chanhee now speaks up, shaking his head in disappointment. 

“You know, it didn’t cross my mind.” Hwall smirks once more, looking at his painted nails as if he’s already grown bored of this conversation. 

Juyeon now steps up, tired of these antics and wanting answers. The prospect of losing Youngjae, of failing to keep him safe… leaves him with a strange feeling of deja vu, knowing exactly where it stems from… “What did you show him?”

* * *

**_guide_ **

**_/ɡīd/ noun_ **

**_a person who advises or shows the way to others._ **

* * *

“How do you think you’ll find it exactly?” Changmin asks, following close behind Eric. 

“Uh…” He drags the word on, a little breathless as he makes his way up the small hill in the forest. “I guess I feel like something will guide me there?” The forest looks nothing like that from his dreams, everything dead, the ground no longer covered in grass, but brittle dirt and twigs. 

Changmin stops, an incredulous sigh escaping his lips, “So we came all the way back to Taurwen and could very likely  _ die _ , but you have no idea how to get to where we need to go?” Clearly, the Sken is regretting his decisions to come along with Eric on this journey. 

“Look-- I know what it sounds like, but… but I know that who I’m looking for, she’s out here somewhere and I just need to find the Moongem and I’ll know what to do. Everyone I care about is counting on me somehow, I know that if we’re going to stop all of this and come home, I need to do this.” Maybe he wasn’t making much sense, but honestly it didn’t all make sense to him either. “Can you just trust me?” 

Changmin groans, “I trust Youngjae, but… Eric… I don’t know, he’s sort of a wildcard.” 

Eric smiles slightly, “I think I’ll take that as a compliment.” He confirms before turning around a continuing further into the depths of the decaying forest. 

The pair continued on the trek through the forest, Eric trying to be as quiet as possible considering the unknown of this area. According to Changmin, not all of the Skens abandoned Taurwen when they came looking for him on earth and they very well could know they’re back. The thought sends a shiver down Eric’s spine, wanting to see Juyeon again, to know the taste of his lip at least once more before possibly perishing. 

The forest is hard to navigate, nothing like his dreams, but he does his best, shutting his eyes tightly and trying his best to remember where the wispy wolf spirit had led him in the vision Hwall gave him. 

“I think we’re going in circles, Prince.” Changmin tells him, frowning as Eric turns around to look at him. 

“N-no we’re not!” He attempts to sound confident, but his voice cracks, looking over his surroundings, filled with the sinking feeling that they  _ have _ been here before. “I was just retracing my steps-- I think it’s this way.” And he charges back into the frey of his pursuits. Each tree looks like the one before it and all the twigs littering the ground blend together, none sticking out more than the next. Maybe he should have brought Chanhee, surely he would have been able to navigate through even a dead forest. Though… maybe seeing the forest like this wouldn’t be the best thing for his companion. 

“Prince… if…” Changmin pauses, Eric once again turning to look at his “familiar”, “If we can’t find the Moongem by nightfall… we should go back before Skens do come and find us.” 

Eric shakes his head defiantly, “No, we will find it-- we have to!” He insists, more determination in his long strides as he continues to try and orientate himself in the unknown terrain. 

Unsure how much time had passed, Eric’s feet hurt, sore and wishing he had his own shoes on and not a pair on loan from Hwall. Blisters surely are sprouting beneath the fabric, but he tries not to worry himself as the sun starts to fall behind the mountains in the distance. 

“Prince…” Changmin warns warrily, but Eric promptly ignores him, continuing on. 

“It’s here, I know it!” He yells, feeling desperate as he picks up his pace, now running through the forest. 

“Slow down!” Changmin calls to him, but still Eric finds that his feet beat hard against the ground, crunching the dead debris behind him, pushing the dead branches out of his way. There’s a  _ need _ burning inside of him, that he finds what he’s looking for or else all of this is for nothing. 

_ “I am your light....” _ He pauses, stopping in his tracks as he hears the voice--  _ her _ voice, finally calling him, guiding him. His feet pick back up, running through the forest frantically, trying to follow the source of the sound.  _ “Let me guide you, Youngjae.” _ It feels as if his dreams and reality have collided, almost like he’d somehow slipped into a state of unconsciousness, but everything around him feels too real to be fabricated fragments of his subconscious. 

He rushes to follow the sound, eventually breaking through a thicket of dead trees and bushes, their branches scratching his skin, but he forces his way through. The moon rising overhead greets him in the clearing, shining down on the familiar stone at the center. “The Moongem…” He whispers softly to himself, turning to look behind him, but he’s alone. In his running he must have lost Changmin along the way. They’d find each other again… Eric refuses to turn back, to abandon this place in fear that he might never find it again. 

There is no one waiting here for him. No woman and no Younghoon. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but this surely isn’t it. His hopes had been high that somehow all the answers to his questions would find him in this clearing and yet--

Eric suddenly realizes with an inner certainty that all of his answers  _ are _ in this clearing-- just waiting for him to press his palm to the cold surface. Slowly, the boy steps closer, feeling the cold that vibrates from the smooth stone the closer he gets. 

_ “I am your light…” _ It seems to whisper to him as he stands before it, hesitant. 

Fear seizes Eric for a moment, the dread of possibly not finding his answers here, of being wrong about it all. Youngjae would certainly know if this were the right decision while Eric is simply grasping for some sense of certainty. 

_ “You  _ are _ Youngjae.” _ The stone whispers softly to him, startling him for a moment,  _ “You’ve always been him. He lives within you, let me show you, child…” _ Her voice is soft and melodic, calling him forward, reassuring him. Slowly, he raises his palm, it shakes as he tries to stay confident, to believe in her words until finally, he presses forward, connecting his palm to the stone. 

* * *

**_a·wak·en·ing_ **

**_/əˈwāk(ə)niNG/ adjective_ **

**_an act or moment of becoming suddenly aware of something._ **

* * *

_ “You’re mine as I’m yours.” A woman’s voice plays softly, making Eric turn to look at her. She’s beautiful with hair like the white of the moon and a gown dark and enchanting like the night sky. Her palm is pressed with a man’s, tall and handsome, his hair a midnight blue reflecting the darkness of night. “You’re a treasure to me-- brilliant and sacred.”  _

_ He smiles, pressing his other palm against her cheek and she cradles his hand with her own, eyes fluttering closed. The moment seems so intimate that Eric feels guilty for watching it, wanting to turn away from the sight, but unable to. “We will find each other for all our lifetimes.”  _

_ “Selfishly, I wish I had created you to live on forever as Salinn had done her own creations.” She sighs, soaking in the embrace of the man’s hand.  _

_ He shakes his head, “You’ve transcended time, my love. You’ve given us the gift of patience.”  _

_ Her eyes open, looking up at him and Eric can feel the tangible bond between them. “I fear for you, Alryn. Our love comes at such a price to you, I will not ask you to lay down your life for this.” _

_ “You do not have to ask, I do so willingly, with no reservations, Lycanna.”  _

_ The name stirs up a recollection in Eric, blinking as he realizes who this is, who  _ she _ is. Lycanna, the creator of the lycan bloodline and the man… something tells him he’s the first lycan, the one that she fell in love with. The books he’d read of Chanhee’s about the history of Taurwen spoke of them and… a sinking feeling floods him as he remembers how their story ends.  _

_ The couple’s lips press together, chaste and sweet, it makes Eric’s heartache for the affection he’d only briefly gotten from Juyeon. His hand lifts to brush against his lips, able to feel the buzz from the lycan’s mouth on his own.  _

_ A gentle hand touches his shoulder, making him jump, craning his head to see… Lycanna?  _

_ “Remind you of anyone?” She asks, taking her eyes off the couple and looking down at Eric with a soft smile. “We were so happy-- I wished that for you as well, but it seems fate had other plans for you, my child. I’m sorry for what cruelty the world has shown you, but I think it’s time you see again, don’t you?”  _

_ Eric’s breathing picks up, a buried truth hurting his chest, scared of it. Slowly, he shakes his head, “I… I’m scared, Lycanna. What if-- what if I’m not strong enough?” Voicing his fears. “I’m not you, I can’t do it.”  _

_ “Precisely, you  _ aren’t _ me, that’s exactly why you  _ can _ do it this time.” Her voice is tender, understanding and she reaches out to brush a strand of Eric’s hair off his forehead. Her eyes mirror his own, dark nearly black orbs that shine with like the stars above.  _

_ “But Juyeon--” _

_ She smiles, “Juyeon’s been waiting for you an awfully long time. My sweet, dear Alryn has given him the gift of so much patience, hasn’t he?”  _

_ Both understanding and not, Eric nods along with her words. “He’s amazing.”  _

_ Again, a smile spreads across her face, “Yes, yes he is.”  _

_ “I don’t know how to be what he needs, Lycanna.” Eric looks down at his feet, defeated. “I’ve lost everything that makes me  _ you _.”  _

_ “My child…” She strokes his hair soothingly, “Nothing is ever truly lost, is it?” The phrase is meant to stir up a sort of confidence in himself, but it doesn’t, even as he tries to will it so.  _

_ “Then how do I find it? How do I find Youngjae?”  _

_ Gently, he moves to press her palm over Eric’s chest, “He’s been with you this whole time… it’s time to see once more, Youngjae.” Without warning, she leans forward, pressing her lips softly to his forehead and keeping them there as a starlight seems to build between them, covering them both with a blanket of it.  _

  
  


_ It’s a rush, a euphoric sensation pulling from inside of his chest and blooming to spread across his entire body, filling every corner of his being. Flashes of faces, memories dancing in front of his vision. His mother smiling at him in the courtyard, his sister chasing him through the halls of the palace, sitting on his father’s knee while he reads stories to him and…. Through it all is Juyeon, flashes of the man through his life, growing up and maturing, but always by his side. When he’d fallen from the tree in the forest, it had been Juyeon there to pick him up and wipe his tears, when his beloved otter had run away, Juyeon was there to search all night with him, and… when he was saying goodbye before a large battle, it had been Juyeon’s soft lips to reassure him he’d come back.  _

_ Every question he had about his life and his  _ love _ seemed to be answered in the span of these memories, as they forced themselves on him, reminding him of everything he is.  _

_ The last, most integral part of his memory slows, drawing out into a scene in front of him. He can see himself, small, maybe four or five years old. It’s before his parents’ death. His mother steps into his bedroom and he looks up from the toys he’d been playing with. “Youngjae…” She speaks softly, a smile spreading over her face that makes Eric smile fondly just watching it from the outside looking in. “Are you busy, little love?”  _

_ He shakes his head, setting down his toys, watching the woman approach and sit down on the edge of his bed. She pats next to her and the boy abandons his toys in favor of sitting with his mother. Lightly, she presses a kiss to his forehead, “My sweet, sweet boy…” There’s a tear rolling down her cheek and Eric tilts his head in confusion.  _

_ “Why are you sad?” _

_ “Oh, this? This isn’t me being sad-- not really. I’m just so proud of you, you’re so special… did you know that?” A soft, sad smile graces her lips.  _

_ Youngjae shrugs, “Just because I’m a Prince.”  _

_ “No, no, my sweet… you’re so much more than that.” Her dainty fingers gently pet his head and he closes his eyes to the fondness of it.  _

_ His eyebrows furrow, “What else am I?” _

_ Another smile finds its place on her features, “Well, you know we all once had our place up in the stars, don’t you?” He nods, “You had a very special place up there for a very, very long time, but now… you’re back and I’m just lucky enough to be your mother.”  _

_ “Who am I?” He asks curiously.  _

_ “Do you remember that story father told you? Of the great Lycanna and Alryn?” _

_ Youngjae nods enthusiastically, “Yes! I remember that one!” He bounces a little, “She- she was the one created all lycans and her and Alyrn went on lots of adventures together, stopping evil Skens and keeping peace across all of Taurwen.”  _

_ His mother laughs at his enthusiasm, smiling, “Yes, that’s them.” Her fingers idly pet through his soft hair, working her way up to divulging whatever information she has to. “Lycanna and Alryn loved each other deeply and when lycans do that, they find a place up in the stars together where they can rest until their souls have healed and they’re ready to come back down.”  _

_ “Like you and papa!” _

_ She smiles again, “Just like me and papa.” She confirms before continuing, “Lycanna and Alryn lost in the end though, didn’t they? Do you remember that part of the story?” _

_ Youngjae frowns, looking down at the ground, “Yes… but they died together, didn’t they?” His mother nods, “And all of the others in Taurwen banded together to stop Vorlux though, so in the end they still won, didn’t they?”  _

_ “I suppose they did, didn’t they.” Another kiss is pressed to her son’s forehead before she pulls away, “Lycanna and Alryn have never come back though, they were together in the stars for a very, very long time.”  _

_ “Like me?”  _

_ “ _ Just _ like you, little love.” Another tear rolls down her soft cheek, “Listen to me Youngjae, okay?” Her voice grows serious and it scares the child for a moment as she holds his face, looking at him intensely. “Darkness will come for you one day and I want you to be brave-- just like Lycanna. You will always have a light inside of you, let it guide you.”  _

  
Eric jolts with a gasp, pulling his hand from the Moongem, panting for air as his eyes open, his entire being feeling…  _ different _ . His hand runs through his hair, pulling the strands to be able to see how they’re not blond anymore, but silver and white like the moon. “I’m…  _ you _ .” Eric looks up at the moon as he whispers the words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!! I am working on the next one, but might be a little longer because of classes and such!  
> Comments and kudos seriously make my day!!


	12. Don't Save Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit shorter, but that's because the next one is going to be pretty hefty!!

The branches rustle behind Eric, the starlit boy turns abruptly to face it, expecting to see Changmin come crashing through, but no one enters right away. “I see you’ve found yourself again-- that will make this all the more sweeter.” A grisly voice speaks before cracking through the brittle branches and showing himself. 

Eric looks up at him with wide eyes, something in his core telling him who this is-- just _knowing_. Vorlux. Eric stands his ground, having a new found confidence with his awakening. “You’re dead.” Perhaps this is only a dream-- or nightmare. “Skens… they don’t come back-- not like lycans.”

“You came back, didn’t you, Lycanna?” He smirks, coming closer. His form is looming, casting a black shadow over all he crosses. His magenta, long tongue produces behind his rows of fangs, reptilian as he licks his muzzle. 

Eric’s eyebrows furrow, “That’s different-- _I’m_ not like you. I had a place in the stars, you only have a legacy of destruction.”

“That you caused!” He yells, shaking the branches around the clearing. “ _You_ did all of this-- _you_ aren’t innocent. You turned me into a monster and you know what monsters make, Lycanna? They make more monsters.” A toothy grin crosses his face, glowing eyes shining through the brush, unmoving but the message is clear-- he’s outnumbered. 

Eric shakes his head, “I-- we didn’t do any of that. You did it on your own accord-- you chose to be the martyr.” 

He snorts, continuing forward, closer to Eric and he takes a step back, his back pressing up against the Moongem. “Did I? You left the life of the celestial in favor of life with a mortal-- a _dog_ of your own creation. I was merely retrieving what had always been _mine_.” His form morphs from the large reptilian beast to a tall, broad man, his skin still scaled, but resembling something closer to human. “I had hoped I would get to you before Lycanna would, Youngjae. I was certain that you could be reasoned with, but your warlock friend is much more stubborn than he appears.” 

Eric’s eyes widen with a gasp, “Younghoon--”

Vorlux smirks, “Don’t worry, he’s still alive-- barely. I knew that your precious Alryn-- though, what’s his name now?-- would try and hide you away from me, away from _my kind_. I had to find you, so I knew there was one person who could transfer you away without a trace. Younghoon is looking rather good for his age, isn’t he? He and Alryn were always so close-- of course he’d trust him with you.” 

This is news to Eric and his eyebrows furrow, knowing that sorcerers could live long, long lives, but never expecting him to be _this_ old. 

“How is it that Salinn was able to resist falling in love with her first creation and you weren’t?” 

While Eric knows he _is_ Lycanna, that they share the same soul, these actions Vorlux speaks of are not his own. They belong to someone he barely knows and he shakes his head. “Hurting me-- _killing me_ won’t change what happened in the past. It will be the same, don’t you see that? I-- I’ll die and the people of Taurwen will rise up against you.”

“What people?” Vorlux asks with a smirk, motioning around them. “I did it right this time, I took out your allies first and _then_ I came for you and I’m here to collect.” He takes a step closer, “And this time… I plan on devouring your soul entirely, I won’t give you the satisfaction of your stars.” 

* * *

**_com·pro·mise_ **

**_/ˈkämprəˌmīz/ verb_ **

**_accept standards that are lower than is desirable._ **

* * *

An anxious hand runs through Juyeon’s hair, anger barely sated under his skin. “You-- you fucking sent him there to _die_ , you know that right?” Juyeon’s voice is raised, the rest in his party stand with wide eyes at the outburst. The lycan begins to pace and Sunwoo makes no more attempts to try and comfort him, clearly knowing he’s beyond the point of comfort. “People _died_ to keep him safe! And you just threw all of that away!” 

Hwall is unaffected by the outburst, just regarding the lycan with a cool look, eyes almost lazy. “You have so little faith in the little prince, don’t you? Perhaps it was your coddling of him that resulted in the death of so many-- if only he knew the truth, if only you allowed him to reach his potential--”

Juyeon lurches, seizing the sorcerer by his shirt, his breathing grisly. “I did what was best for him-- you know nothing of sacrifice!” Voice still raised as his wild eyes searched the sorcerer’s. 

“You did what was best for _you_. I gave him the way to answers that you wouldn’t give him.” Then his eyes cast over at Chanhee, almost longingly so. “I know plenty of sacrifice.” There’s something so serene and haunting about his words mixed with the look on his face. 

Chanhee simply crosses his arms over his chest, looking away from the gaze. 

Juyeon releases the sorcerer with a shove, “You sent him there-- so you’ll take us back. Younghoon could open a portal, you should be able to too.” There is no room for argument in his voice. 

Hwall shakes his head with a roll of his eyes, his usual demeanor returned to him. “That’s where you’re wrong, Juyeon. I’ll be opening no portal back to Taurwen. Skens can open them effortlessly if they choose, but that level of magic from a sorcerer weakens the layer between worlds.”

Chanhee scoffs softly, “Since when did you care about the laws of magic?” He quirks an eyebrow, but still won’t meet the sorcerer’s gaze. 

The cat-like sorcerer seems to take the words as almost a challenge, standing up a little straighter. “I don’t.” He replies defensively. “But even so, the level of magic requires a little fuel.” Hwall looks over at Sunwoo, smirking. 

“No. Not fucking again, filth.” Sunwoo spits out, glaring at the sorcerer. 

Hwall shrugs, “So I guess you don’t care about getting Youngjae back _that_ much, do you?” Still smirking evilly at the trio. 

It’s Chanhee who speaks up first, his soft, cotton candy pink hair sweetly cascaded over his forehead as he looks at the sorcerer. “Well… Younghoon could do it without any aid, maybe… he always was better than you?” The druid informs him with an innocent shrug. 

That seems to be enough determination for the sorcerer, his cat-like eyes narrowing, “Oh, I can do it without help.” He scoffs, insulted, “Younghoon isn’t so great-- you want to go back to Taurwen and get yourselves killed, by all means, _go right ahead._ ” The sorcerer moved to pull a text from his library. 

Juyeon takes a small step closer to Hwall, “Yeah and you’ll be coming along too.” 

* * *

**_ce·les·tial_ **

**_/səˈlesCHəl/ adjective_ **

**_positioned in or relating to the sky, or outer space as observed in astronomy._ **

* * *

Heart pounding in Eric’s ears his palms press soothingly to the Moongem at his back. There’s a buzz of voices playing through his body, whispering soft words to him, but he can’t focus on one over the other. Vorlux’s looming form approaches, morphing from the more human form he’d taken back to the reptilian beast. 

The thought of dying without seeing Juyeon again floods him, to think that he’d come all this way to get the truth, to find himself and then he’d never be able to give Juyeon those parts of himself. It makes him shudder even more severely than from the fear of Vorlux. 

With his hand pressed to the Moongem, a soft voice speaks to him clearly over all the others. “You aren’t me, that’s exactly why you can do it this time.” It reminds him of the words spoken to him by Lycanna, desperately trying to understand what that means in this moment. Every piece of the puzzle is at his disposal and it’s all on him now. Eric shuts his eyes tightly with the beast still approaching him. 

“You’re all out of tricks, Lycanna. There’s no one here to save you.” Vorlux tells him, voice rough and menacing. 

_They can’t find you if we suppress your bloodline._ Juyeon’s words from his past replays in his mind, forcing himself to find the answer to this. _You’re a lycan, but you’re... our prince._ Now it’s Chanhee’s small and delicate voice that reminds him. 

That’s it. 

The pieces click together as he opens his eyes, Vorlux just paces away from him. “I’m not Lycanna.” He tells the Sken creator firmly. “I’m-- I’m so much more than just her and that’s why you won’t win. Not this time, never again.” 

Vorlux laughs, “You really are naive, aren’t you?” 

Eric shakes his head, “I’m all of the best things about Lycanna, but-- but I’m also _me_ and that means something.” His hands quiver, feeling the ancient power of those who had come before him in his blood, how they warm his body, a low rumble in the back of his throat. “I’m celestial,” Like Lycanna, a goddess who had created lycans, but… “I’m also mortal-- a lycan and I can stop you this time.” His body shifts, the small boy replaced with a lycan with fur like starlight. Unlike the beast-like wolf Juyeon and other lycans turn into, Eric’s form is lupine, a large wolf created from the moon itself. He shuts his eyes just as Vorlux is about to lunge at him, a bright light bursting from his form and knocking back the Sken creator, shaking the dead trees around the clearing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like always, i love to read your comments!!  
> also, side note: i am going to be starting to work on another fic soon (i have ideas!!) but i am unsure on the fandom or pairing that will be at the center of it, please let me know if there is something you really want. as of right now i am thinking either the boyz, ateez, enhypen/txt, or treasure!! let me know!!


	13. Fade and Then Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is much bigger than any i've done i believe. this is also the first chapter that features someone's pov aside from eric or juyeon.
> 
> oh and it gets a little steamy, so there's that

The silver-white of the sleek wolf clashes in the clearing with the mutated reptilian beast. It’s a match of fangs and claws. Tar black blood oozes from the gashes inflicted by the starlit wolf, claws tearing through the scaled flesh. A cry rings through the clearing, the other Skens circling in, called to action by their leader. Eric lets out another thunderous roar that has the creatures hurling backwards from another burst of the white light. 

This new body is foreign, heavy, an adjustment from the one he’d previously inhabited. His movements slower, a learning curve involved as he attempts to lunge again at Vorlux, but his motion is calculated easily by the war hardened beast. His talon-like hand snatches him mid pounce, gripping his throat. A whelp breaks from his muzzle, like that of a stepped on puppy, kicking his hindlegs out as he’s lifted up, attempting to tear himself away from Vorlux’s grip. 

It’s futile, he’s strong-- impossibly strong and it makes the luminescent wolf question his own strength, if he truly _is_ strong enough to counteract this plight. His muzzle snaps out, viciously trying to reach and tear into Vorlux’s arm, neck, _anything_ he can get his jaw wrapped around. 

“You’re not quite as strong as you thought, are you? It takes more than a fancy new ability to tear down someone like me, Lycanna-- or, _Youngjae_ , I suppose I should give you the decency of dying with your own name.” Vorlux scoffs, his taloned hand clamping harder around his throat before he tosses him with inhuman strength, his back making impact with the Moongem that rattles through his form. The Skens are shaking off the impact of the light, getting to their feet, mouths ravenous as they crash into each other, running towards Eric. 

It’s… it’s too much for him alone. He realizes that as he pushes himself up, back on all fours, facing his death head on. If he’s going to die, he’ll do it standing, embracing the person he is, having all of the pieces together. He’ll die as Eric, Youngjae, Lycanna… all of the pieces that have come together to make him who he was always meant to be. 

“This is how it was always meant to be-- I would always have you one way or another. It’s you who made it _this_ way.” Vorlux informs him, the roar of his brood echoing through the clearing as they begin to circle in on him, screeches of violence heard, the toppling of their bodies one over the other as they fight to be the first to attack Eric. “Your soul will be mine now, destroyed and consumed.” Vorlux’s heavy footsteps get closer to him, the wolf backed up against the Moongem. “ _Mine_.” 

Defiantly, Eric growls, a sound he wasn’t aware he could produce, but instinctual in nature. Just as he’s about to lunge once more, to fight until his last breath, to fight as long a he can for the possibility to see Juyeon once more, a purple beam breaks through on his left, tearing through a line of Skens, disintegrating them in its wake and searing a path for the prince to break free. At the end of the path is a tall man, hunched over, badly hurt, clearly, but the producer of this arcane magic. 

Instantly, Eric recognizes him as Younghoon, seeing him in his dreams, but also his own memories returned to him and a vice grips his heart at the sight of someone so dear to him. Seeing this path to escape, Vorlux moves to try and block Eric from escape, but he’s quicker, more agile, tearing towards the parted sea of Skens. The beasts try to break into the path, only to be destroyed by the purple beam keeping them out, held in place by the sorcerer struggling to keep the spell up while Eric breaks towards him. 

The beam begins to collapse behind him as he runs, the Skens close on his tail, paws beating into the earth, turning up the dead soil as he fights to make it to the sorcerer. “You found it, prince.” Younghoon breaths weakly as he’s before him, pressing a palm to his oversized lupine forehead. “I knew you would.” There’s no time for catching up as the sorcerer collapses from the excursion of power, his body weak from whatever turmoil the Skens had put him through. 

Hastily, Eric takes the collapsed sorcerer gently between his teeth, carrying him like a small puppy and takes to the dead forest, trying to put distance between them and the hive of Skens. The forest that Youngjae once knew is overrun with death and decay, impossible to navigate how he once could, so his only option is to just keep going, weaving in and out of dead trees, trying to find a way out of the thick corpse-like forest. 

“Prince?” Calls a familiar voice, Changmin trying to catch up to him in his human form before he’s transforming into a sparrow and flying beside him , his small, beady eyes looking at Younghoon in his jaw before flying ahead, indication enough for Eric to follow and he does. 

The distance between them and the Skens increases, but he can still feel the vibrations from their stampeding feet behind them, so he doesn’t slow, even as his body begs him to. This new body is different, far more durable, but he can still feel it waning, tired from the sudden activity after so much disuse. 

Led by Changmin, he finally breaks the tree line, but as he does, a hulking form makes impact with him, colliding with him and Younghoon’s body falls from his mouth, tumbling to the ground as his own body hits the dirt skidding across it as a large, midnight blue lycan pins him. Both of them panting, fangs out as they regard each other, the slow, sinking realization of who they both are setting in and without even being aware of it, Eric’s wolf form melts away just as Juyeon’s lycan one does, both of them looking into the other’s eyes. 

“You’re… you’re alive…” Juyeon breaths, softly as his hand reaches to stroke the boy’s cheek, then moves up to smooth through his starlight locks. “You’re back.” As if invisibly connected, invisibly so in tune with each other, simultaneously, their hands reach out, gripping the other as their lips crush together in a burst of passion, a sigh of relief to be back in each other’s arms. 

“Juyeon! We need to go!” Sunwoo yells, not giving them the satisfaction of their reunion. 

Eric and Juyeon part ways, the prince knowing this is no time or place to delve into everything he feels currently. As he looks around, he can see that it isn’t just Sunwoo with him, but Chanhee and… Hwall, surprisingly. The druid is knelt down beside Younghoon’s body he dropped, his delicate fingers brushing his hair off his face, Eric able to see the tears wet on his cheeks from the moonlight above, making the tear tracks glitter and sparkle. 

Juyeon rushes to Younghoon’s side, looking over the unconscious sorcerer, “The palace-- it’s not far. We can make it there.” Juyeon’s gaze snaps up to look at Hwall, “And you’ll mask our path there, it’s in your own best interest as well to make sure we all stay hidden.” The sorcerer somehow seems relatively obedient, rolling his eyes, but agreeing nonetheless. 

It’s Juyeon picking up Younghoon with Sunwoo’s help, Changmin staying close by Eric’s side as they travel a stony path, Eric able to see the remnants of a palace in the distant, dark fog. 

* * *

**_sanc·tu·ar·y_ **

**_/ˈsaNGk(t)SHəˌwerē/ noun_ **

**_a place of refuge or safety._ **

* * *

The walls he once knew as a child bring back memories he hadn’t realized he had. Eric’s palm grazes over the fire stained halls. _Haunting_ , is the only word he can use to describe the structure. Everyone else had taken to making sure Younghoon was alright and while he cares deeply for that, he couldn’t stop his feet from leaving the drawing room to wander the halls. It’s as if he can _feel_ his family here, reach out and touch their ghosts. 

A stray tear rolls down his cheek, wishing that he had more time with his family, that the memories he did have weren’t washed through time, unsure if they were even real or just dreams. Distant wishes, things he’d made up as a child in the effort not to forget his family. Eric’s eyes shut softly as he presses his palm to the ashen wall, trying to reach out to those memories stored deep inside of him. 

“They died here, you know?” A voice makes him startle, turning to see Hwall standing there, leaning against the wall. “Your family, I mean. They were lycans, so if you were hoping their ghosts would be here to have a chat, that won’t happen. They’re all up there.” He points upwards, Eric knowing he means the night sky. 

His eyebrow furrows, retracting his hand from the wall. “I know that.” A little defensive before he pauses, “Did you know… know who I was, I mean?” If anyone were going to answer Eric at this point, it would be Hwall, feeling as if he had no reason to hide anything from him. 

“Of course, we all did.” The cat-like sorcerer smirks, clearly seeing the way Eric’s lips pull down into a frown. “What? You were so certain that if Juyeon knew too he would have told you? Haven’t you picked up on it yet? Everyone just _loves_ keeping secrets from you-- think you’re too fragile to know the truth.” Hwall pauses, tilting his head curiously to the side. “Are you too fragile, prince?” 

Eric’s frown deepens, the creases between his eyebrows growing more prominent. “No.” Firmly rejecting the notion, “I can handle it.” 

“I thought you could too, it’s why I sent you here, so you could see it for yourself. I’m sorry you had a little run in with Vorlux though, you seem alright though, hmm? And not _too fragile_ to handle your own against him.” A mischievous smirk curls the sorcerer’s lips. 

“Hwall.” A voice echoes from the shadows, Eric looking behind the sorcerer as the familiar lycan emerges. “Maybe you should see if Chanhee needs help with Younghoon, I’m sure you can make yourself useful.” He suggests, giving the sorcerer a serious look, but Hwall continues to carry his smirk on his lips. He gives Eric a playful wink before walking past Juyeon and back towards the drawing room. 

A silence falls over the two of them as they’re left alone, Eric’s eyes cast downward on the burnt floor, the soot and ash beneath his feet. “You… you lied to me.” Finally he says, betrayal in his voice as he turns, walking further down the hall until he can exit from a large hole in the wall, looking out over where he knew the blooming courtyard once was. 

“Youngjae…” Juyeon followed him, his voice soft, but he made no move to reach out and touch the prince. “I didn’t lie, but that information, it wasn’t mine to tell. I couldn’t tell you who you are, it’s something you had to find out for--”

“But _Youngjae_ knew-- _I_ knew it before you took it all away from me!” His voice slightly raised, “I didn’t want to lose everything I was, but you did it anyways! You _hurt_ me, you took the most important things from me.” 

“To keep you _safe_.” He argues, but his voice is soft and calm, unlike Eric’s emotional one. 

He shakes his head, “That doesn’t make it okay. I told you _no_ , that’s _all_ I had left and when you did find me, instead of just _telling_ me, I had to go all the way here to get answers when _you_ should have been the one to give them to me.” 

The lycan falls silent and it blankets over both of them for a long moment. “You’re right.” His voice a little defeated. “I should have told you, but… I knew if I did, it wouldn’t be the same. I couldn’t tell you who you are, it didn’t feel right to tell you and expect you to just believe me, to not have any certainty for yourself.” 

It’s Eric’s turn to fall silent, looking away from the older lycan and out over the scorched earth, recalling memories of his young childhood here, with his mother watching over him while he played and… Juyeon there so often. He had diligently watched over him, stood by his side, took part in all of the games young Youngjae had forced upon him. He didn’t know it then, but they were always meant to be with each other, to be two halves of the same whole. 

“I… I never wanted to leave you.” Eric admits softly, eyes cast over the palace grounds. 

Juyeon turns to look over it with him. “I never wanted you to leave me either, but I made that sacrifice for us.” 

“It should have been _ours_ to make.” Another tear rolling softly down his cheek. 

“I would never have put that burden on you.” 

Eric’s head turns, looking at Juyeon’s profile, his arched nose, thin lips and soft angular jaw. He always found him handsome, recalling when he’d first really noticed it, when he was only ten and realized what a crush was, how it made his stomach swarm with butterflies each time Juyeon’s attention was on him. “But then you bore it all on your own.” 

Juyeon turns, their gazes meeting in silent, unspoken words at first. “I’d carry any weight for you.” 

Eric lifts his palm, Juyeon’s meeting it in a kiss between flesh, both of them closing their eyes as the tether sews between their bodies. Now, Eric felt it fully, felt how it reached and tangled through his whole body just from this simple meeting of palms. “From now on,” Eric begins and both of them open their eyes to gaze at one another. “We do it together-- we fight this together, always.” 

Juyeon smiles, “Always.” He echoes, their fingers curling around each other’s to grasp on tightly, Juyeon pulling Eric in closer to press their bodies against each other. 

The sleeping arrangements had been made haphazardly, finding rooms that were less affected by the destruction that had taken place all those years ago here. It was far into the late, late evening by the time he and Juyeon retired, leaving Chanhee to delicately tend to his lost love and the other likely finding solitude in their sleep as well. 

“You’ll… you’ll sleep with me, won’t you?” Eric asks as he walks hand in hand with Juyeon towards the rooms in the castle they’d found that would be suitable for rest. 

Juyeon looks down at him, “If that’s what you want.” 

With a nod of his head, he confirms this, “I’m afraid if I let you go, I’ll lose you again.” He admits softly as Juyeon opens the door to the room for them, closing it behind him as they step inside. 

“Then never let go.” 

They stand there in the dimly lit room, the moon streaming in through the broken window, allowing the cold night air of Taurwen to seep in. “I won’t-- never again.” Juyeon’s fingers sweep his starry white hair off his forehead, the man appreciating Eric’s features before leaning down. 

Their lips meet in a sweet embrace, soft and delicate at first, familiarizing themselves with the intimate exchange of emotions. There’s a warm heat radiating through all of Eric’s body, starting at the buzzing of their lips and stretching to every corner of his body until his toes curl from it. Fluidly, his arm wraps up around Juyeon’s neck, willing him closer, suffocating what space remains between their bodies. With it, their lips open, a sigh of passion exchanged from one mouth to the other, tongues exploring and appreciating the inner workings of each other. 

Juyeon’s arms lift him up and Eric’s legs wrap around his waist as the lycan haphazardly navigates to the dusty bed, pressing the boy back against the sheets, Juyeon's weight settling between his open legs. They continue to kiss, to express their love wordless. It’s Eric that first reaches for the hem of Juyeon’s shirt, pulling it over the man’s head and tossing it to the side. With it, their lips break and Eric’s blown eyes regard Juyeon’s physique, fingertips trailing over the plains of muscle that had been hidden from him previously. 

The lycan just allows him to breath it in, to look over his lover before Eric speaks, “You’re beautiful.” 

Juyeon smiles, “So are you, Youngjae.” He doesn’t give Eric more time to appreciate him as he leans down to kiss at his jaw, working the boy out of his shirt and then returning right back to his labors at his jaw, kissing small, delicate bites along his flesh. Eric’s head swims, biting his lip and greedily pressing up into Juyeon’s body, only to produce a needy, soft whine from parted, pouty lips. 

He doesn’t relent, continuing his labors of love on his skin before his fingers entertain Eric’s desires, brushing his skin just above the waistband of his pants. A tightness forms in his pants, his member hardening, _craving_ the intimacy of his lover. _This_ is what their bodies were meant to do, to touch and be touched in return, but… Eric knows it wouldn’t be the same with anyone, but Juyeon. 

His pants and underwear are swept from his body, leaving him bare under his lover and this time, Juyeon does pull back to look over him. It brings a hot flush over all of his skin to be so exposed under that gaze, to have all of Juyeon’s attention fixated on him, to be the object of his desire. There’s a hunger he can see in the man’s eyes, a hunger for _him_ that only ignites the fire inside of him further. His head drools slightly onto his stomach, if this weren’t Juyeon maybe he would have been embarrassed by the size of his cock, but this _is_ Juyeon, the one his body was made for, crafted in the stars to be with Juyeon and only Juyeon. 

Their lips meet once more, but it’s hungry and passionate, both of them clinging to the other as Eric less elegantly works to rid Juyeon of his own remaining clothing. Without meaning to, he bites Juyeon’s lip as his fingers curl around the man’s cock, feeling it fully in his palm, the weight of it, the realization that it’s _his_ , that every inch of Juyeon’s skin belongs to him just as his belongs to Juyeon. 

Juyeon pulls away, his breathing labored, “Are you okay?” Juyeon asks as if it weren’t just him who had been nipped. 

Eric’s skin is impossibly warm, full of the fire that burns between them and he nods. “Y-yes, more than okay.” His eyes dart down to Juyeon’s swollen lower lip, yearning to kiss it again and soon, he is, but it’s much slower as Juyeon’s hands trail up his thigh, kneading the muscle of the back of his thigh, working back to the swell of his ass. Juyeon’s fingers are slow and delicate as they open him up, producing soft, low noises from Eric’s parted lips, unable to move as he clings to Juyeon, pressing kisses across his face. 

When he withdraws, it leaves Eric feeling empty, but there’s a pressing realization of what’s to come. They part, looking deeply at one another. Juyeon’s hand reaches up to run over his bottom lip, “I’m yours, Youngjae. Entirely-- fully. I’ll always be yours.” He declares and it makes Eric’s chest ache. 

“And I’m yours, Juyeon. We belong with each other, don’t we?” 

He nods, both of their breathing slightly labored, but in sync with each other. “We always have-- always will. If… if things don’t--” 

Eric reaches up, pressing his fingers over Juyeon’s mouth, stopping him from continuing. “Don’t, don’t make any premature goodbyes, I don’t want to hear it. I just want you, I don’t want to be sad or think about it ending badly. I just want… _us_.” 

Juyeon’s lips press to his forehead, “I just want us too. I love you, Youngjae.” Before Youngjae can echo the sentiment, their lips meet, easily finding each other and slotting together. He can feel Juyeon lift his hips and his breathing catches for a moment, heart racing in his chest before his lover’s head presses at his entrance, pushing slowly inside of him. Eric’s mouth falls open, head hitting the dusty pillows and his silver hair cascades across the fabric while Juyeon looks down at him, kissing his face softly through it. 

When he’s seated fully inside of him, Eric’s met with the sudden feeling of being completely unaware of where his own body ends and Juyeon’s begins. It’s a union, a meeting more intimate than palms, a sense of being fully together, fully _one_ and he never wants to lose it. All of the emotions Juyeon’s feels, are his own in this moment, their bond extending between them, encircling them both in a true connection of body, mind and spirit. 

“I love you.” Eric feels the sentiment in his bones, feels them echoed back at him a thousand times over. He can feel the love from centuries ago between them, how it goes on endlessly, that even… after them it will continue to go on. 

Juyeon’s lips meet his once more before he starts to move, feeling the way his cock glides in and out of him, how it fills him, how Juyeon makes him feel whole. Their mingled breathing fills the room, the sound of their joint pleasure bouncing softly off the walls around them, warming them in the glow of it. His pleasure only intensifies as he feels Juyeon hit a delicate spot inside of him and his back arches, the older man on top of him smiling as he kisses his exposed neck, taking advantage of that sweet spot inside of him. It seems unfair, makes his toes curl and his cock twitch between them, the coil in his stomach threatening to release as his lover diligently takes care of him. 

Finally, he feels the edge of his own pleasure, the way it builds to an impossible climax and he clutches tightly to Juyeon’s shoulders, lips parted as repeated whines of euphoria escape his mouth. Juyeon’s cock guides him through his release, the ivory seed of it decorating his stomach and his hole is impossibly sensitive, clenching greedily around Juyeon and his thighs clamped firmly to his waist. Juyeon kisses his flushed skin while he lays in the afterglow, while he takes in the sight of Juyeon above him and feels the way his hips grow less fluid and more sporadic. 

It’s Eric’s turn to kiss him, to kiss his shoulders and neck and face while he chases his release inside of him. As he plunges deeply inside of him, a warmth continues to grow from the lycan’s seed and their lips meet in a lazy greeting, welcoming each other in this state of bliss. 

A soreness sets into his body as the couple lay back on the bed, Eric’s head against his chest, feeling at home in the man’s arms. Part of him misses how connected they were in those moments, how otherworldly it was, but for now… he’ll lay here in the afterglow. 

* * *

**_guilt_ **

**_/ɡilt/ noun_ **

**_the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime._ **

* * *

“Where are you going?” Sunwoo asks as Changmin walks past, heading towards the rooms. 

The Sken pauses, looking down at Sunwoo, biting the inside of his cheek. “I was just going to see if Youngjae needs anything.” 

“ _Oh_ , he’s _plenty_ taken care of tonight.” Hwall speaks up from across the room, smirking. Chanhee looks up from where Younghoon’s head is in his lap and he’s softly stroking his hair, to give Hwall a dirty look. 

“It’s probably best to leave them be tonight.” Chanhee tells Changmin instead with a soft smile. The druid, clearly much more at ease with his lover returned to him, even if his condition is severe. Chanhee assured them he could get him back to fighting strength and Changmin had gone out a couple hours earlier to find any remnant of plant life that Chanhee could bring back to life. The druid had magically made a few wilted and dying plants he found sprout life, growing from the cracks in the palace floor and delicately wrapping around Younghoon’s limbs, cradling him just as softly as Chanhee is now. 

Changmin flushes at the implications being made, eyes widening slightly and feeling idiotic for not putting as much together. “Oh.” Is all he says, “Then I’ll just take a walk around the palace before bed, make sure everything’s okay.” 

He moves to exit the drawing room that was illuminated by a warming spell thanks to Hwall. “I’ll come with.” Sunwoo suggests, pushing himself up from his seat. “I don’t think I can sit around and watch this soap opera any longer.” Motioning towards the two sorcerers and druid. 

Changmin furrows his brow, “Soap opera?” 

Sunwoo waves his question off, “It’s an Earth thing, I don’t suggest we bring it back to Taurwen with us.” 

The familiar falls into step beside Changmin and it both brings a warmth to the Sken and a pang of sorrow like usual. No matter how hard he tries to shake the feeling, he can’t-- can feel it embedded into himself. There’s a grievous silence that befalls both of them as they step out into the night air of Taurwen. 

The night is quiet, which to Changmin is a good thing and he can’t sense any Skens close by. Sunwoo doesn’t make any effort to speak, which begs the question of why he’d jumped at the opportunity to accompany him. “Sunwoo, I…” He tries to start, but then closes his mouth, struggling to find the words. 

Sunwoo doesn’t say anything, continuing on in silence. 

“I’m sorry.” He finally manages with a bow of his head, like a wilted flower. 

Still, Sunwoo stays silent, which Changmin knows means he’s genuinely angry. 

“I shouldn’t have taken the prince back here-- it was reckless, so stupid. I know that, but I thought it would help you-- help all of us. And it did in a way, didn’t it? It got Younghoon back and--”

Sunwoo looks over at him and it’s enough to have him grow silent, “The only reason it worked was because you and Youngjae were lucky. It could have gone so much worse, I could have lost you-- _him_ \-- again.” The mention of _him_ as opposed to Changmin makes him flinch, reminding him of who really matters to Sunwoo in this situation. He always hates when he brings _him_ up. 

Changmin shrinks in on himself, his long neck shortening as he cowers slightly. “I… I’m sorry, I know it was careless. I won’t do it again.” 

Sunwoo runs a hand through his hair, “Just don’t do anything like that again, okay?” He pauses, as if he might say more, but stops himself and walks off ahead of Changmin, leaving the Sken with the harsh reminder of who he is and what he’s done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!!!


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